Follow
Share

My mother has taken to doing daily at her NH, and then they call me. My mother has Alzheimer's and is really not in a state of reality at all. But every evening she still badgers (and hits) the nurses to take her home from this "school" she thinks she is in. Then she makes abusive calls to me or my father and when we say we can't come without doctor's orders, she becomes extremely belligerent and hangs up on us. During visits then the next day, she has forgotten totally the damage she has tried to do. What can we or the doctors do to help this violent sun-downing?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Well it ends here. I will continue to visit occasionally, ensure she has all she needs and attend to her finances but that's all. She's been an evil, mean and nasty narcissist life long and after 60 years of misery I've had enough. She may have no memory but I'm ill and shaking for 24 hours after her tantrums. Last week I had a "turn" while driving - hot flash and for a few seconds blurred vision. My mother has had many strokes, her mother and her sister dropped dead from stroke ... this is a wake up call and it scared me to death. I told her about it but has she called to see how I am? Nada, if it's not about her it doesn't matter. The last straw. I just sat at my desk to change my phone number and make it unlisted so she can't get at me any more. Tomorrow I will visit and if she's fairly lucid I will explain nicely why I have to kick her to the curb, then it's over. I have no choice now.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Ashlynne-what you're experiencing is sun-downing, when the patient really deteriorates into an agitated, sometime violent, sometime belligerent, swearing state, usually around the same time every day. For most, it's around sundown 4-6 pm time, but it sounds like that is what your late afternoon problem is. Anxiety and paranoia often accompany the state--then it's suddenly over until the next day, usually with no memory of doing anything.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I've never really known what sundowning was but maybe that explains the screaming tantrum phone calls mid afternoon? They always come between 3 and 4.30 p.m. and I get anxious when that time approaches. Once 5 p.m. comes I know it's dinner time and I'm safe from it for another day.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I used to give my mom Benadryl sometime to help her sleep and calm down on those rare occasions. Also, check the meds she is taking...she might be having severe side effects from psychiatric meds.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Serious medication intervention will be needed ASAP or she will find herself in a posey and strapped into a chair. Have her MD order the phone to be removed, at least in the evening and a dinnertime anxiolytic added.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.