Follow
Share

My father is involved in online scams and is getting Payday loans and using Moneygram and Ace Cash Express to wire money overseas. He is just blowing his money and he won't listen to us and does his own thing. How can we stop this foolishness? Can we block or flag him from using these services somehow?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
As long as he has control of his bank account he will still be getting these loans. Just went through this with my dad. Getting loans to pay scammers. Got DPOA, closed his account, returned and bills "return to sender" and opened a Rep Payee account that he doesn't have access to. Had SS office send his check to new account. Does he have any other income? Basically take over all his finances and give him access to no credit, checks or bank account.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Franks: You're very welcome! We serve all kind of stubborn crutches.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Thank you, Llamalover47, I'll do that.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Franks: Their addiction comes first rather than car payment or real estate taxes, but $250K, Jeezy peezy? What was she snorting, drinking or putting into her veins? She will decease from this lifestyle. Seek out Reformers Unanimous, a nationwide faith-based program. See reformu.com.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Llamalover47, simple answer is no. She is a drug addict, so it's all gone. She even lost the house he bought for her due to none payment of taxes. We are in the process of trying to have her prosecuted with criminal charges. That's a whole other story. MS sucks when it comes to protecting the elderly. After Dad kicked us (my sister, brother & me) out of his life, we called & called the Elderly Abuse Hotline, but were repeatedly told that as long as he is a willing victim, there was nothing they could do. Now, the Atty General's office tells us that he has to be declared incompetent in order to prosecute her. We are in the process of doing that now. I guess you can tell from the tone of my reply that I am angry. We tried for over 4 years to get help with the situation. It had to get to the point that my blind Father was not able to buy groceries, pay the electric, water & gas bills before we were able to step in. I am beyond angry.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Franks: I wonder-were you able to retrieve any of the $250K back through the courts or was the gold-digger woman long gone?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

All the counsel here about getting POA, changing accounts, getting joint accounts, redirecting mail and changing phone numbers has been part of my experience and may work for some carees. Each was a brief, temporary fix for my mom until she figured out a work around. The bank would alert me but could not stop her; the transfer service would/could not either. The last resort was guardianship and conservatorship that removed any access she might have to money.

Even a one dollar bill sent back in an envelope to a bogus charity got her back on dozens of "sucker" lists until she no longer had the cognitive capacity to complete the process and get it mailed. When she couldn't remember her important numbers or how to find them nor figure out how to answer the phone the odds of more thousands getting sent overseas dropped to almost zero. I had been told I would be glad when her memory got worse; sadly that is true. There has to be a special hell for those who would take advantage of vulnerable elders, our loved ones who just want to retain some control over their money, etc. and cannot admit they may be mistaken.

Another tactic I used a lot to stop the scammers was to send all the bogus mail back: either returning it to sender so they had to pay return postage (although the USPS told me that often just goes into their trash if it's a bulk mail lower rate to start with) or to send any enclosed envelope with too little postage so they DID have to come out of pocket to get what they thought might be a "contribution". Those and the ones that included return postage paid envelopes (like Publishers Clearing House) got envelopes filled with all the junk mail and other mail inserts that would fit within. All but 2 or 3 eventually stopped sending....hallelujah!

It can be a long and difficult process but a necessary one if there is to be any money left for care. Prayers for a quick, effective solution for you!

P.S. Don't expect him to thank you for removing the ability to "handle" his money the way he wants.....
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

My Dad was the victim of a "sweetheart" scam. He gave away close to $250,000 in cash, property, etc. to this woman over a 3 year period. I finally was able to get Conservatorship after my family found him sitting in the dark & cold with no food & water last winter.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Good job, moecam. Also callers calling at all hours of day and night. I check them out through white pages and then delete, with a quantity of 25 calls allowed. Last Friday I had to go out for 2 hours on an errand and I had 6 scammers wanting my business. I give them the business #$@//*&^! $/^&*(
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

A friend was very sure she'd get a car etc - when she died the executrix & I had to deal with a deluge of the scammers - when we called they did not stop - so we started taking any with out of country addresses & not opening them but writing 'unsolisided mail .... return to sender' - that stopped them when they had to pay to return postage
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This is a common problem among elders. They get scammed into giving away their last dollar. I will tell you what one couple did. The woman was sending off hundreds, bordering on $1K from snail mail scammers. The man solved the problem by setting up a P. O. Box at his town's post office
that ONLY HE could control. They were going into debt fast until he put a halt to that!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I've been through this and I let my Dad do what he wanted. I tried to explain these were scams, but he kept insisting. Eventually he went to live with my brother, who stole everything from him. I should have suspected something when I received a letter from a lawyer telling me not to have any more contact with our father.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I recently had to move my father because he was being evicted from his home from lack of payments on his property taxes and home owners insurance. Found out he was sending $500-$800/month of his $1100 social security check via western union to Jamaica. I got a POA then went to social security office and became his Rep Payee and closed his bank accounts and changed his phone number. I took over all his finances, with some kicking and screaming from my dad, but it was necessary to get debt collectors and scammers off his back. I pay all his bills now and give him an allowance. No access to a checking account! I opened a new account under his name, naming me as rep Payee. This is where his social security check and any other income needs to be deposited and any expenses are to be paid from this account, unless you are covering additional expenses from your own account. This has worked so far. He seems to be managing well with the allowance and not as desperate to get extra money (from scammers or dash for cash) to pay bills. You will have to keep a close eye on them still and with Rep Payee from Social Security you will need to keep good records of how your spending their social security check. They will ask you to send a report annually on spending exclusively for their expenses. It took a bit of work to go through this process, but worth it for peace of mind to know his money is being spent properly.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

When my ill 77 year old sister came to live with me after 15 years of no-contact with family, a friend-. CSW advised me to get DPOA for health and finances. Her ONLY assets were her SS check and her 7# comfort dog. It was epic advice because within months Colon Cancer + mild dementia surfaced. She is now doing well.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

It just occurs to me that scammers may be funneling his money to nut jobs in war zones i.e. terrorists. How would your dad react if you (or a law enforcement officer) told him these scammers are terrorists and that he is supporting terrorism?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

My mother with alzheimers would never willing sign over control of her finances to her POA. As her disease progressed, we had to first help her simplify. Reduced the number of Bank accounts to two, a chequing and a saving, one debit and one credit card. We had her change her PIN numbers which she could never remember to one number which she could remember. Her POA had her make all accounts joint so she could be monitored. We moved all her xtra money out of her chequing into her savings account leaving just enough to pay her bills. We went to her bank and had her put her joint savings account in both her POA and my name. We told her it was to prevent her from being hacked and to simplify her banking, reassuring her it was still there for when and if she needed it. We spoke privately to the lady in the bank explaining the Alzheimers. Being a small town, and having a long time relationship with the bank, they understood and helped us. We limited her daily atm withdrawal amounts and flagged her checking account so that the bank would notify us first before clearing any unusual or large cheques. When it was evident she couldn't complete her taxes anymore, we went to H & R block. When she sold her house, we made sure her money was properly invested with beneficiaries named consistent with her wishes. We flagged her investment with her financial adviser that her POA should be contacted if any requests for withdrawals were made, again alerting them to the alzheimer's. As the disease progressed and she moved to a residence, she keeps only minimal cash on hand and her bills are all paid automatically. It's a huge struggle because she can be easily targeted, manipulated and taken advantage of. Good luck.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

You could try a credit security freeze:
www.agingcare.com/articles/protect-your-credit-with-a-security-freeze-172660.htm
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I know of this all too well. Both of my parents got into all these online scams for about 5 yrs after they retired. No they will not listen to anyone. They were doing moneygrams 2 times a day everyday at 2 different locations. I even went to the 2 different places to make them stop taking their money but they sid they couldn't. Even know the money was going overseas. When I say a lot of money over a 2 yr period they had sent 86,000 overseas and nothing we could do about it. We tried talking with the banks since I was their poa and even a lawyer. The post office actually had the FBI come to their house. That didn't even work. But it is very hard to prove someone is incompetent and take their rights from them. Because they still feed themselves and everything like that.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Does your father have dementia or been judged incompetent? If not, he can do with his money as he chooses. One of you children needs to get POA so you can intervene, otherwise bye-bye money.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

We also got POA over all my mother's checking and saving accounts. Her major resources went into a trust. We took away her checkbook and credit card. We give her cash for her wallet. we tried a pre paid card for a while, for her discretionary expenses. You may have to even change checking account numbers because she remembered them and was able to authorize some money. Even at that if she has a good credit rating, remebers her SS# and DOB, some predatory sales people will give her "credit" to buy something. It's a horrible situation that steals the elderly's money and requires protective and sometimes creative methods.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This is a tough situation and not an easy one to get out of. It took me several months however I was able to go to social security and become my fathers representative payee so I now control his social security. I went through the same thing you are going through now and it requires constant checking up on him. I went to legalzoom and got their wills, living wills, and POA for both my parents. I did it under the premise "to be prepared IF anything happens to you". Then I went to social security and applied for his social security. I had to set up a special bank account for the money to go in and now I pay his bills the day he gets his payment. I also had to take my mothers checkbook away because he went in and used her account info to transfer money onto his phone to talk to the scammers. I give him $80 a month allowance and he can spend it on whatever he sees fit. Since doing this his situation has improved however I will never trust him with money again.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

As noted in answers to your previous post https://www.agingcare.com/questions/stop-father-sending-money-to-offshore-scammers-210713.htm
Your options are limited unless you seek guardianship and cut off your father's access to his bank accounts. Unless judged incompetent in court or you move money and deposits into bank accounts that he cannot get into, your father has the legal right to be foolish and spendthrift, sad though that may be.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.