We daughters are not on Dad's POA and are watching him destroy his life with bad monetary decisions (mild dementia) - Mom dependent HELP?

This is pretty bad, it may get to a point or BE at the point, where you can't afford not to have a lawyer. You already have a doc at the VA probably ready to do a letter of incapacity. (You may need that just to get out of the lease contract...that's no easy feat, but a threat of a lawsuit for leasing to someone obviously incapacitated might work.) The VA social worker might know of ways to get legal help for lower costs or have another solution. You could consider involving Adult Protective Services. You did not say who is the POA and why they are not doing anything - if they are irresponsble as POA, it is possible they could be removed or they could resign. At this point, Dad may not be legitimately able to change POA arrangements since his judgement is this bad.

I should have told you. Only he and my Mother are on the POA. :(. We have involved Adult Protective Services, who have basically told us we have to wait until he does something drastic to endanger her. Frustrating as basically Dad's put down payment on house and didn't tell us where he was taking her. He also drinks and drives at times. He is also on antidepressants. Also please advise regarding my Mother's situation. She also has mental issues and is on myriads of drugs, which we fear Dad may mishandle (he gives her her meds :() We tried and tried to get this change but again came up against the POA. Dad did this ostensibly because of the savings. He will fight anything we do tooth and nail.

In addition, his quest for painkillers (he was taking oxycontin at one time) we went to their house in Ellijay (in the mountains, when they lived there) and found the doctor had prescribed him morphine. Really.

OK, your dad is an addict and a felon. And now that his judgement is going or gone, he's making a complete hash of the finances. One of his doctors thinks this is to the point of impairment, but you do not think it is possible to get a guardianship. He is driving and you suspect he should not be - is that because he is drunk, drugged, driving without a license already, or demented? And your mom stayed with him, and he's got her POA and she's got his. He's likely but not certainly mishandling Mom's meds, and APS does not think it is time to intervene. He won't be resigning as Mom's POA and nothing much would be accomplished if she resigned as his.

OK, well, looks like a florid case of "all the easy problems have been solved already." Few things remaining you can try: 1) Make a report to the DMV; state laws vary, yours might end up having him required to take a test of some sort or he will be driving without a license, at which point police can become involved. I suspect there is some reason that won't work or you'd have done it already. 2. Make sure your names are not on any of his accounts or credit cards so you do not end up personally liable. 3. Collect any and all documentation you can that will support his incompetency and need for guardianship, as it may become possible and necessary if he does not manage to do himself in first. 4. Get ready to pick up the pieces and take care of Mom. She may end up having to declare bankruptcy and needing help to do that, or with Medicaid application if that is possible in her situation, and if not, she may need care from her remaining family or paid for in some other way.