My grandfather was 76 with diabetics, high BP & cholesterol. He was having trouble breathing 2 days before he died also his stomach was bloated. But rest of the thing was fine. Saturday morning we found him unconscious in his bed, we rushed him to hospital and was declared dead already.
The big regret I have now is he would not have died if we have diagnosed him little early.
But on the other hand, I think that though he would be alive but he might be suffering from paralysis, kidney failure etc.
I am not able to convince my self in this issue and I am feeling big regret, biggest regret of my life.
I have so many sweet memories of Luz.
We went out to eat once and I knew the food might be a little spicy and this could cause her nose to run while eating. I planned ahead with an extra hanky for her.
I gave it to her while still in the car. She placed it on top of her head before she got out. We went in and ordered our food. She still had the hanky on her head.
As I figured her nose began to rum. So I just took my hanky and wiped her nose repeatedly until we finished and left.
Once back in the car I took the hanky back and we went home. It was still on her head.
The food server never made any sort of remark or jester about the hanky on her head.
I guess if you want a challenge it would have been the night in rehab when she managed to follow me to the front doors as I was going home. She could not get out but as I was backing out I saw her in my mirror banging on the windows wanting to go with me.
She was really hitting that glass hard. I had to park and go back inside to walk her back to her room and get her into bed and calmed down. It was getting late.
Somehow none of the staff knew anything bout her leaving her room.
Once I got her calmed down I was able to leave. That was one of the nights I cried most of the way home.
I did not want to leave her there but it was the best thing for her.
We did have a joyous reunion the next morning.
I have so many of these stories. They help keep me smiling and crying as well as being so proud of her.
The heart can fail at any time.
EX: BIL died of heart failure before he hit 60. And he was under care by a cardiologist for a few years aft by pass surgery. He went to sleep one night and was gone before sunrise.
The same thing happened to my nephew less than two years later and he had no history of heart problems.
Ironically they both died in the same house and the same bed.
Sister had ALS and was able to attend BIL's funeral but was in worse shape for her son's funeral and it had to be sent to her via some form of electronic service.
I will agree that even if you had been there holding his hand exactly the same out come is very likely to have happened.
Don't beat yourself up over this.
Life can throw us unexpected surprises at anytime. How appropriate that you make this point now.
All of us are in the middle of living with an unexpected surprise right now with this coronavirus.
Sailor, you always bring a ray of sunshine for us when you post about your lovely wife.
Would you do me a favor please? Would you share a sweet memory of your wife for this poster and for us to lift our spirits. Please. Thank you 😊
I guess what I am asking is I know that you had many challenges with your wife. You handled it with such love and grace.
Tell us about a time when you were facing a challenge and you weren’t certain of anything and somehow you made it through.
Tell us one of your uplifting stories that gives us hope and bring us joy knowing someone like you is in this world.
You appreciated your wife and I know that she appreciated you. She is watching over you with love. 💗.
"As it progresses, your belly becomes more and more distended with fluid.” ... Congestive heart failure can also result in bloating, not just in the abdomen but with swelling in the legs too. In both heart failure and liver disease, bloating is usually a later symptom of the condition."
Diabetics seem to have a problem with bloating too
"Diabetic gastroparesis is a condition in which emptying of food from the stomach is delayed, leading to retention of stomach contents. This may cause bloating, early satiety, distention, abdominal pain, nausea, or vomiting. ... The diagnosis of gastroparesis is often suspected on the basis of symptoms."
Was GDad under a Drs care regularly? He probably had meds for his BP and cholesterol so they were being controlled. As a diabetic, was he doing what he needed to do. Taking his meds regularly, eating right, cutting out carbs and sugars, watching his weight. Even with doing everything right, diabetes does a number on the organs of the body, especially the heart. With heart failure the muscle is very weak.
If GDad refused to take care of himself his death is not your fault. If you had taken him to the ER could he had gotten help? Something you will never know.
I'm sorry for your loss, and I think that whatever anyone says you are still going to feel sad and regretful about losing your grandfather at his comparatively young age.
But do not feel guilty, and do not blame yourself or your other family members for not spotting the crisis early on and taking action. It was for your grandfather to ask for help if he thought he needed it; and one could even say that, going much further back, it was for him to pay attention to what he was told about his diabetes, high blood pressure and cholesterol.
I also think you are right to think what his quality of life might be like had he survived the emergency.
76 is no great age these days. You must feel robbed of your grandfather, and it is always sad to think of losing anyone too early. But - his health was not yours to take charge of. Don't regret that part, anyway.
This isn’t your fault. I am so sorry for your loss.