My mother (age 75) died on October 20th, four days after my 50th birthday. I pulled away after some nasty hurtful behavior on her part regarding my getting my degree this past June. I know that while this was a happy moment for me, she might not fhave felt that way given her medical condition. That I could truly understand, but it felt like she took great pleasure in hurting me by acting like my accomplishment was nothing. On day I graduated I received no phone call, atta girl, nothing! I've been her caregiver since I was 14 up until the last 4 months of her life. I am now being accused by my sister of abandoning mom in her time of need? My mother had a live-in home attendant, a grandson who visited nearly every day and, of course, my sister who claims to have visited daily. Based on the physical condition I found my mother in, my sister was not paying close attention to was going on with my mother. On the last night of her life, the first time I'd seen her since August of this year my mother had a horrific smelling heal ulcer and necrotic tissue on her remaining leg. My goal was not to abandon my mother, I just wanted it to be about me for a change. It took me nearly 20 years to complete my degree and my sister(45) in the meantime completed her bachelors and master's degrees while I took care of ma. Why am I suddenly the bad guy? My sister is telling anyone who will listen that I deserted my mother. Did I desert my mother?