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This is heart wrecking as I write this, but I really don’t know what to do.


Here’s the current situation:


1. Very, very, very few times she willingly accepts to drink


2. Other times - when she is sleepy - (so not resistant) she drinks


3. Straw sometimes works (but mostly with food) and sometimes she blows


4. Sometimes spoon drinking with food (mainly thick juices or milk in the morning)


I think the main problem is that she doesn’t feel thirsty and the coordination of drinking is complex for her


She says yes i want to drink


But then refuses/doesn’t know how to open her mouth


Of her mouth is already open - she doesn’t swallow the water and spits it out.


When she drinks a cup of water, she is fine, no choking or coughing


What do we do???

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Her brain may be shutting down and even though she says she wants something, she feels full. It might be time to get a hospice consult to see what is real, what can or cannot be done. This will be a new perspective for you to make decisions. You write to us. Surely you can see she is failing in spite of your offerings.
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Grandma1954 July 29,2023 7:15am
There are products that will thicken liquids.
The one I used is called ThickIt
You add it to any liquid to thicken to the desired consistency.
You can go from nectar thick to pudding thick. .
the product does not effect the flavor just the texture.

To prompt swallowing lightly run your finger under the chin,
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Grandma1954 Jul 29, 2023
oops, I just saw that she is already on thickened fluids.
I totally agree with the swallowing evaluation.
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If she can/will only drink when you spoon it into her then that may be what you need to do. Just keep offering smaller amounts more often.
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She needs a swallowing evaluation, done by a speech/language therapist with training in geriatric swallowing disorders.

Swallowing issues in the elderly are complex, difficult to diagnose, and difficult to resolve.

My LO was placed on a thickened fluids regime because of her tendency to choke and cough when attempting to ingest fluids.

She also appeared thirsty, did NOT tolerate thickened fluids well, and would take liquids from a straw with fewer problems if I helped her.

Because of her intermixed symptoms, I requested a swallowing assessment, and when observed drinking comfortably through a straw, she immediately resumed drinking small portions of Ensure and fruit juices.

Swallowing disorders sometimes present with symptoms that defy “common sense” - don’t leave this to chance.
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MarianSobhy Jul 29, 2023
Ok - will do test.
in Egypt - medical systems are way different here.
already on thickened fluids
but the point is she doesn’t want to drink/does not know how to drink

do you mean her inner systems refuse drinking in fear of possible choking?
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Sadly her brain is broken because of her dementia and her brain is no longer able to control her mouth and more than likely her ability to swallow correctly.
My late husband who had vascular dementia, developed aspiration pneumonia and almost died and the doctor in the ER said that the reason he developed it was because his brain was no longer telling his throat to close when he ate or drank.
So perhaps you may want to have your moms doctor order a swallowing test for her, so she doesn't aspirate. But in the meantime I would only give her thickened drinks(with the product Thick It)and only give her pureed foods.
I would probably also give hospice a call and have them do an evaluation to see if she may qualify for their help. I'm guessing she will.
I wish you both well.
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I’m so sorry that you are going through this. What has her nurse or doctor said about this?
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Offer more highly fluid foods like soups, most fruits and vegetables, smoothies, jello. If she likes them there's nothing wrong with coffee, tea, hot cocoa, soda, even the occasional beer. And just because she can sometimes drink a cup of water without choking doesn't mean she might not benefit from having her fluids thickened slightly with a thickening agent like ThickenUp.
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