Want to bring husband home from memory care facility after 2 months. Is this wrong?

Only you can decide what is best for you and your husband at this point in his journey. You already know what his care requires, and that hospice does very little in home as far as his care, so if you feel that you can get the help you will need in place, then I say more power to you. Just please make sure that you're taking care of yourself as well, as caregivers have a 63% higher mortality rate than non caregivers.

I had my bedridden husband at home under hospice care for the last 22 months of his life. While it was very hard, I was glad that my husband got his wish to die at home. I wish you peace in whichever decision you make.

Here is the thing with caregivers. It is such a difficult job that there is a high turnover.

We saw this with hospice. When mom found great caregivers that loved her and she loved them and they left to switch to another hospice organization, we then switched organizations too.

It’s worth the additional work to keep a good caregiver!

My mom was recently in a hospice house. She died with dignity. The caregivers were excellent!

I don’t mean to sound rude but it’s extremely difficult to care for someone at home. Please let him stay with a professional staff. Not just for your sake but his too.

Why did you place him to begin with and what will change if you bring him home, is the question? If you don't have caregivers in place when DH gets back home, you'll be in a world of hurt trying to manage his care alone. Which is probably why you placed him to begin with: because his care was too much to manage at home. End of life can take quite a long time with hospice, sometimes a year or more. Are you physically and emotionally prepared to take on end of life care for all that time, should it be required?

It's not wrong to bring DH home and it's not wrong to keep him in Memory Care. What's not a good idea is to second guess your decisions or feel that you have to take on his end of life care by yourself (possibly) at home. You can easily spend every day with DH at the Memory Care and then go back home in the evening to a peaceful and restful nights sleep.

Try to remember that there are TWO people who need care here, not just one. There are TWO lives equally important at stake. If you break down by trying to be Superwoman, then who takes care of YOU?

It's not wrong--it's just a decision you need to make. And live with the consequences.

You DO need to look out for yourself, and with a good TEAM of caregivers, I think you can do that.

You're not thinking you are going to nurse him back to total health, you are realistic about the outcome and about how much work this will be.

What do his drs say about EOL expectations? If he has a year or so..it will be harder on you than if he has maybe 6 months or less.

I feel your love for your DH in your post. Whichever way you choose to go, you are going to be there for/with him.

God bless you in this choice.