Follow
Share

i want my mom to apply for a mortage & hopefully move in together so that i can help w her care; essentially decreasing our expenses so that she can afford home care for when i am @ work...

she's still young, @ 72 yrs & fairly healthy.. the main health problem were renal stones that were recently diagnosed (Staghorn Stone).. for which she's having surgery on Jan 14th..
she is in a nursing home right now, and they say that i can discharge her home once the living situation is settled.
i do direct care & have been her only caregiver for 10yrs..

PROBLEM IS: she endorsed (cosigned) some of my daughter's Parent Plus college loans, & now it looks like her debt/income ratio may disqualify her from getting a mortgage (i'm working on my credit so as to maybe apply for a loan together).. the loans are not in default, but they still may count against her

ALSO, if she is forced to stay @ the nursing home for a while, they will intercept her income & therefore all of her current debt (consumer credit cards) will be discharged? then what if she wanted to reapply for a mortgage in 6mos? will that affect her credit/chances??... ugh this is all so annoying.. helpful feedback is appreciated.,. i work 2 jobs & have decent credit (working on it), although i also have my own student loan debt :(

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Taurean - I'm a mom of a college freshman so I totally get the whole student debt situation. To me, having them (the student) do a Stafford is a must as it's their debt alone and will never be too too huge as its limited to 5-9k annually.

The fafsa is no picnic with prosecco to get through, but has to be done and the earlier the better. As schools start matching in March.

What I was surprised to find out was the huge # of on campus work-study that is never applied for and that has funding that goes unused. At our sons school, there is a constant 10 -20% of work study positions that are available. Why? Well it seems kids dont want to necessarily work library/lab/dorm/grounds duty when there are lots of lenders who will just easily loan $$$ to students....and the kids (& parents too) really don't know how to deal with debt or realize the true costs of what seems like easy $$$ to get with no "work" required.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Thx @igloo572.. that break down gave me a much better understanding of what we're working with. Appreciate it!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

At 72 your moms income to debt ratio is going to have to be quite quite stellar for her to ever qualify for a mortgage as she will not be eligible for the standard 30 year mortgage. She's too old to meet the actuarial tables used by lenders. I'd bet it would need to be a conventional mortgage with anywhere 20 - 30% downpayment (not the 3 - 5% for the usual FHA mortgages) for a lender to ever be remotely interested in the risk.

And this before even factoring in moms being on the hook for her granddaughters student loans. Student loans are non-dischargeable debt, it will have to be paid off and can be a debt against grannies estate as co-signer.

If daughter is still in school, imho she really needs to only be doing student loans that she herself assumes or doing work-study. Almost all students can get a Stafford and at 5 - 9k will cover fees & tuition costs for most public colleges & universities. She should try to get her taxes filed asap in January so she can get her FAFSA done to see what she qualifies for.

Grannie at 72 shouldn't find herself in financial peril if granddaughter defaults on the loan.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Ty so much @cwillie for your thoughtful reaponse.. I didnt think my question would make me come off sounding so shady. I mean I could just stay in my apt & leave her where she's @ freeing up my life if it wasnt for me wanting to not "break up" the family. And YES! i forgot that she had sepsis b/t the hosp & nursing home stays. My point in all of this was again to decrease our expenses so that would free up alot more of her $ for homecare (which is NOT covered by ins) .. your advice has given me something to think abt as far as future living plans; i don't have alot of consumer debt mainly student loans. Which I'm learning will work AGAINST you due to my meager income vs the student debt i owe lol. I will see what the lender comes back with. Thx again ✌
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I know about complications from kidney stones, my mom almost died back in the 80's from sepsis relating to them. The point is that was many years ago, she recovered and is still with me today.

As for sharing expenses, I get that too. My mom and I live together for less money than she would be paying for a nursing home, even here in Canada where the bulk of the expense is covered by provincial healthcare. Initially I moved in with my mom on a short term basis to help her get over sciatica, but as her disabilities morphed into something permanent I knew I had to make a new plan. We are still together but living in a home bought for by me and she pays me for the care she receives.

I also get that grandmother's sometimes help out with higher education costs... my mom helped her grandkids too!

I still think it is inadvisable for you to go ahead with your plan, your mom would be much better off living among her peers and retaining her independence as long as possible. And if you should you still choose to try to purchase a home I think it would be best to try to put it in your own name and draw up a contract detailing how to have your mom pay for expenses and care if needed. I would think this would put you on firmer ground if your mom's needs increase and she needs to apply for benefits in the future.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

staghorn stones are QUITE SEVERE & can be proven fatal if undiagnosed.. went through 5 UTI's, AMS & severe delirium until it was discovered. so not quite cut & dry as a regular kidney stone
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

WELL, @Garden Artist, 2 give you a background.. my mother has HAD ambulatory issues due to severe arthritis & spinal stenosis as well as 3 back surgeries a few yrs ago.., hence ME being a caregiver.. i chose to move her here from CT (after i moved) due to lack of family support, therefore it's just her & i here where we live. i'd RATHER see her live home (comfortably) rather than in a nursing home receiving substandard care. WE CAN RENT - however the point of a mortgage was that it was cheaper than her & i living separately @ approc $1900.00 a month just for our separate rents. AND MY credit is actually ok (as i mentioned in my question) i am just in the SAME position w student loan debt. thanks for your input though!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I'm not having comfortable feelings about your intentions.

Your mother signed for your daughter's student loans. But you didn't? Why not?

Your mother's already an obligor on those student loans but you want her to get another loan? I can't help think you're trying to use your mother, and I find that rather offensive.

Banks will definitely analyze her debt to income ratio, as well as her age, the source of her income and any financial assets she may have. Unless she has a significant financial portfolio, I don't see a bank granting a loan to someone in her position, especially when there's a daughter of working age who apparently who apparently doesn't have good credit.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I don't understand why you want your mom to get a house and a mortgage at her age? Why not move into an apartment with mom, with no strings attached, while you get your credit rating back to where YOU can get a mortgage if you want one and have mom live with you?

You talk about your mom being in relatively good health, but you also say you've been her caregiver for 10 years. What does that mean? I think you may be looking for a safety net for yourself as much as what you want for mom. That's OK, but only do something that benefits both of you. Having your mom, at 72, take out a mortgage doesn't seem to be benefiting mom in my book.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

What kind of care does your mother need? Kidney stones are fairly common and once treated she shouldn't have any lasting effects. I assume she is at the nursing home for rehab? At 72 and in reasonably good health she should be looking for a living arrangement that makes sense for an active senior, perhaps an independent living apartment. In my opinion it would be foolish for her to take on a mortgage at her age, this is the time of life when she should be thinking of downsizing and putting in place plans for her old age (and 72 is not that old, many people on this site are around that age caring for THEIR parents) and eventual decline.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.