I am caring for my miserable Dad (91). Will he ever voluntarily go into assisted living?

Why is it important to you that he *volunteers* for AL? If you're waiting for that to happen, well… come on, you know the answer to your question, don't you. Course he won't.

But the point is that I don't see what that has to do with your own decision-making. You cannot be obliged to provide care for him. If you don't want to do it, make alternative arrangements and leave with a clear conscience.

There is no need for him to go to AL, if you are caring for him. It sounds like he is wholly taking advantage of you. But, I think he is too far gone for AL. If he has dementia, he needs to be on that wing of a nursing home. I want to encourage you to do it and get him in a safe place, for his own good.