Vituperous rattlesnake strikes again! How to overcome this next time?

I agree, take ur weeks. What I don't understand is why if u go later, you still can't take 2 weeks.

Actually, I would call the Drs office and see if the appt can't be made after the New Year. I would also see when it was made.

thank you all, Alvadeer mom is almost 80 and was near losing everything and being forced into managed care before I came here as part time support, managing shopping, house help, basically anything she cant do on the telephone. Covid hit and upended everything so I now work mostly remotely and stay here with her to not only shelter in place, but to help her manage. I used to leave whenever I wanted, with her being mad each time, but I still would go to my house. I bought an RV to stay in so I could quarantine each time I return, but obviously cannot between christmas and tuesday, so I'm ok with this except to say she either made the appt after I made plans, or made the appointment despite the fact it was the week between christmas and new years where I always am with my partner.
I think she either made the appt to disrupt my schedule, or she doesn't care if she does, either way it really grinds my gears. I cannot let her skip the appointment and if anything happens OR she cancels herself she WILL blame it on me.
So instead of a nice 2 week holiday with my partner, I get 4 or 5 days now, and that's that.
HOW can I avoid this in the future?
Thank You again

I went to MORE than half of my cancer appointments ALONE...DH was not very capable of handling the emotions and honestly, I didn't WANT anybody there.

I even Ubered to chemotherapy, altho I had a friend or one of my daughters pick me up, just in case I was sick afterwards, which I never was.

You really do need to be mindful of your mom's health, since she IS immunosuppressed, but I've isolated from my kids and grands several times in the past year. Unless your mom LIVES with you, you can successfully take a break---get tested for covid when you return from a trip and wait to see what the test says. If it's negative, you've only 'wasted' 48 hrs.

I highly doubt the oncologist is that busy. I had to change appts several times and they were just glad I was being compliant. Sounds like mom has you pretty well trained....just sayin'.

You know full well that this appointment stuff is rubbish. Why have you fallen for it? Just do what you planned! The Covid risks are the same with either dates. Not good, but look on the bright side – you could be careful on your visit, then isolate for 14 days when you get back. Sorry mother can’t come!

How old is your Mother? Do you live together? Is she terribly ill and unable to function for herself? I cannot find anywhere her age, diagnosis, prognosis.
I would like to ask how important this appointment is. That is to say is this simply to discuss treatment options. Is this simply to discuss staging or have a check up? I can't honestly imagine why this appointment cannot be put off? Moreover I cannot imagine why you would have to ATTEND this appointment. Go on your way and see your partner; return to your Mother and let her tell you all about the appointment.
Cancer, and your Mom. Yes. I get that. I HAD cancer 34 years ago. You make appointments and you change appointments and you have checkups and you get scans and you take chemo treatments and on and on and on. Most of this you do on your own. I am uncertain why your child would go with you? In fact my daughter lived in Washington State and I in California when I had cancer.
So, basically, need a lot more information here about just how debilitated your Mother is. Why you are not living with your partner in your own home, but instead with your Mother, and why even a visit to your partner seems out of the question?
I spent my life as a nurse. I would caution you against making your mother so dependent upon you. That does her no favor, to tell the truth.
As to the covid? I am afraid I agree. Right now, whichever person you live with, your partner or your Mom, it is crucial to sit tight and not be running back and forth until vaccines are available. January is likely going to be a nightmare for our country. Our hospitals are already overwhelmed. By Jan 10th to 15th we are going to see a tremendous surge in cases. If your mother is already dealing with cancer, esp if there are chemo treatment which supress the immune system, you need not to be going somewhere --ANYWHERE--and returning to your mother.

You can always check with mom to see if she has any upcoming appt's, before you make your plans. Or you can wait until the day of or day before to tell her of your plans, so she can't suddenly come up with something. Or last but not least, arrange for a family friend or neighbor(or Uber) to take her to her appt. so you can spend the much needed time with your charming partner. Merry Christmas.

I would arrange transportation for her and go home to spend time with your family.

You reinforce the manipulation every single time you buy it. Teach her that she needs to consider you or you may be gone. Right now she knows that she can do this and get away with it.

It is her health and if she doesn't care enough to get to the doctor without you then she doesn't care. What are you going to do if she does cancel the appointment at the last minute?