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It seems that arriving and leaving without an explanation might work for Alzheimer's patients, may not be appropriate for those who are completely aware and may consider this approach a significant breach of trust.

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I agree with you. I'm not certain that this is a policy for all VA homes, but apparently it is for the one near you.

I hear of nursing homes and other care centers that advise that families to let them take over completely at first, even restricting visits. This would not have worked with my elders - they would have felt abandoned and I simply wouldn't have done it. But I wasn't dealing with the VA.

I'm not sure what to tell you, since I know I couldn't do what they are asking you to do. Maybe you could talk with their social worker and explain your views.
Take care - and let us know how things go.
Carol
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