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Also, what if I can't find Dad's service records? I've just begun learning about Aid and Attendance benefits. Things I've read mention long term care, in home care, etc., but no mention of adult day health care, which is what we need the most right now. Are there restrictions on its use? Mom's house is falling apart around us and has termites, and could use some safety revamps, all things we can't begin to afford right now. Can this benefit be used for home repair/maintenance?

Regarding paperwork, my parents were terrible at keeping records. I suspect I won't be able to find any of Dad's service and discharge records. Will that keep us from being eligible for these benefits?

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I'm in the eligibility process of Aid and Attendance for my mom, a widow of a WWII vet. Find a VA advocate for yourself to take you through this process. Google "Advocates for Aid and Attendance". Your advocate will answer all your questions and refer you to where you can obtain missing records. He/she will forward your paperwork to you and then walk you through the process which is lengthy. Best of Luck!
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If paid by the person receiving care, adult day care and assisted living fees are deductible as a medical expense to the extent that actual, non-reimbursed expenses exceed 7.5% of adjusted gross income.
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Each situation is different. My mother qualifies for $0 on Aid and Attendance (my father was in WWII). Instead she is on our state's Alternative Care program and they pay for adult day care. If she were in assisted living she would not qualify for it and the facilities have their own programs instead although my experience is the activities onsite as part of assisted living do not compare to the separate Adult Day program activities.
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Are the costs of adult day care and/or respite stays at a "memory care" assisted living facility tax deductible as medical expenses? Since Long Term Insurance pays a good portion of a stay at a memory care facility and the Medicaid waiver plan pays for some adult day care programs, I thought that might be the case.
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The US Government has to have those records. Just request them.
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The service and discharge paperwork should be on file at a courthouse. Check before you panic on not finding them. They are available....
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The VA Aid and Attendance Improved Pension is provided to assist veterans with unreimbursed medical expenses including the cost of home care, assisted living facilities, nursing homes and adult day care.

There are actually three levels of Pension a veteran or surviving spouse may be eligible for: Basic, Housebound, and Aid and Attendance (the highest award). Whereas receiving Housebound and Aid and Attendance is predicated on the claimant having "unreimbursed medical expenses" only the amount that is received as "Basic" pension ($1,037 per month in 2013 for a single veteran) can be used for other than medical expenses such as home repair that is necessary for the health, maintenance, or welfare of the claimant.

Military separation documents are obtained from the National Archives. Here is the web address to download the requisite form:
http://www.archives.gov/veterans/military-service-records/standard-form-180.html

Before you take the advice of hiring an expensive elder law attorney or private firm to assist you, contact a County Veteran Service Officer (CVSO) who will look at your case for no charge. You can find a CVSO here:
http://nacvso.org/

Your initial goal is to make sure that your father qualifies from both a health and financial perspective. Do not let an application be filed until you are sure it will be approved. A good CVSO will help you make that determination. If over-resourced from an asset perspective you may wish to consult a professional on the best way to cure this problem.

Your second goal is to make sure you have all of the documentation required on the front end. What most often causes delays is an incomplete application or improper or insufficient evidence to substantiate the claim (income and expense documentation in particular).

The VA now has an expedited program for applications that are thorough and COMPLETE. Contacting a congressmen or senator before you have even filed an application will just make everyone angry.
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I have been in this process since April 2011 and it is still being "reviewed." They will pay for services because the benefit is paid directly to the veteran or the widow of the veteran. I did all the paperwork myself and it was time consuming and you will need records. My Mother kept meticulous records so that part was not difficult but you can get duplicates of any records that you need. Contact Elder Resource Benefits Counseling and call your Senator and it will get the ball rolling a lot faster. Good luck to you.
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I was married to a K orean Veteran & he was killed by a drunken driver. I then remarried & I am wondering if I can get any benifits from him? . I am 83 years old & still married.
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My mom was just approved for Aid & Attendance benefits. I suggest that you contact an elder law attorney to help you assemble the many required documents. Also be prepared to contact your congressman.
Make sure that your initial application is complete. Don't leave anything out. The VA looks for missing info & anything they can question & thus delay the process.

My mom's application was submitted on November 2011 & we just got the approval last week. 2011 is not a typo it took 1 year 4 months to get the approval & only then because I personally met with staff of my congressman's office & they intervened with the VA.

Yes, the benefit can be used for adult day care & any other expenses that provide care for your mother. Be sure to keep receipts & detailed records of everything as the VA will want to review your records annually.

You will need your dad's service records, but you can call VA & get that info.
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