Very little money and can't expect any pay for caring for mom. Any ideas?

Sell her house or Donate it...it sounds like a money pit and once that is off your plate she needs to go to a nursing facility so you and your husband can have a life. Don't let her try to manipulate you into living with you. You Can Not afford to take care of her it sounds like already and it will just get More expensive and time consuming with time. She lived her life now is your time. And you can visit her every day at her nursing home if you want ~ believe what people are telling you here in the answers to your question. Even the most seasoned caregivers would struggle with 24/7 caregiving at home and most would tell you don't even try to attempt it. It brings stress, depression and exhaustion. And no pay. And Will strain your marriage.

First talk with an eldercare attorney to get this mess fixed. YOU cannot have her live with you because of the burden it is putting on you and on him. I think you will need to place her and get rid of the burden of her home, etc. Medicaid can help with the costs. She can't live alone and can't handle the home situation. That might be in her favor if you get suitable help and advice.

Something is amiss with your profile and what you posted on May 7, 2020. You state the your mother is mobile and then is not.

Please contact an elder care attorney. My parents made too much for Medicaid also, but our attorney guided us to set up a Qualified Income Trust. We were allowed to keep the house because we filed a “Ladybird deed” here in Texas. We paid the attorney $1500 to help us and it was worth every penny for the guidance and support she provided. Don’t know what we would have done without her help.

you can sell her house as is that why you don't have to make repairs. As for the deed you can go and search for it yourself. If you're not sure how to do it you can call a real estate attorney to help you with it as well.

Medicaid can help your mother with getting a caregiver no matter what she gets.
You can also call the office of senior and disability they can also help you with getting a caregiver and you could get paid to be her care giver as well

If you are giving her room and food, what does she spend her money on. Her money should be used to help pay bills where she is living with you. You can't pay yourself to take care of her without talking to an elder attorney about the right way to do it. Otherwise, when she needs a nursing home they could consider the pay a gift to you and penalize her where Medicaid will not pay for the bed.

In your profile you wrote: "...I have cared for my mother since her stroke 3 years ago and she can do much more than she lets on...." and then in this question you wrote: "...she can't walk or care for herself...." Which is it?

Your mother is taking advantage of you and your husband.

Your mother cannot afford to keep her house. I don't understand why your mother is wasting "a ton of money" to straighten out a debt of less than $1,000. Hire a local realtor who knows her neighborhood. You can easily find the names and numbers of realtors who have sold the most houses in that neighborhood. Call them this week and get the ball rolling. She will need to pay a real estate attorney, who I'm sure can also give your mother sound advice about what to do with the proceeds. Most real estate attorneys are well-versed in trusts and estates law.

Together with your husband, establish a time frame to get your mother out of your house and remove the added financial burden on your husband. Your husband comes first; you and he are partners. Once you and your husband have decided how best to proceed, inform your mother of your expectations of her, what's going to happen and when.

I'm not sure what’s your state. You might be able to apply for Long-Term Medicaid. This helps pay for either nursing homes or for a family member to care for their parent. Or have someone come in to help care for her. My mom receives widow Social Security and Medicare. She’s in Stage 5 and cannot live on her own. She was approved for Long-Term Care. We live in the same residence and I cannot work in order to care for her. I became her caregiver and was employed to provide the care. We live in Virginia. I hope that helps. I know every state has their own programs and guidelines.

I would stop the work on her house and get it sold as-is. Then, use her money to pay for your services and her contribution to your household: her share of utilities, her food, her medications, her supplies... If you find that you can not make if financially this way, you may have to bite the bullet and have mom enter a residential facility so you can go back to work.

Every State has a Medicare Savings Program (which is not Medicaid). It covers out of pocket costs and premiums, not paid by Medicare (depending on income and assets.) Look into this by contacting your Dept Health Services. Some states may allow you to a apply online.

Make sure you have bills and receipts for all work done on the home. Then stop that work. How many 10's of thousands is it going to take? A very long time.

Instead use the money to pay off the house and get an elder law attorney to draft a caregiver and/or rental agreement so mom can pay you. And get mom applied for Medicaid to get her into a facility. You need to work take the burden off hubby and get back to normal.

Get her on Medicaid, get a Home and Community waiver or an aging waiver, what ever your state has, contact your local Area of Aging Agency, and the state will pay you to take care of her after an assessment by Aging Agency. The state has certain Agencies they will pay to take care of her, and hire you to take care of her. Then the Agency will guide you and help you with problems. I did this with my wife, I thought I knew it all after 4 years, but I learned a lot, from the 16 videos I watched and the quizzes I took. I am sure your state has something like this. Good Luck. Her doctor will have to assess her condition also, and be required to do her paperwork for state.

Mail the $1,000 owed on the house to whatever address she was normally mailing it to and whoever that man left his estate to will get the money.

You need to Rent owas living in until you get the Title worked out, then sell it.

In the meantime, the extra money from renting mom's house out will help along with her SS.

Consult an elder law lawyer and set up her affairs to qualify for LTC via Medicaid. The attorney will set up an irrevocable trust to transfer her assets and still allow her to qualify for Medicaid. Do not do without attorney supervision. And keep your finances separate from hers.

"I don't get paid because she makes too much money on Social Security. Wow a whole 1400 a month."

What does having too much SS have to do with her not paying you? As said, you can charge her rent. (It has been mentioned on forum easier than declaring paid caregiver with Medicaid) Just have a written agreement to how much and you both sign. Maybe even notarized. This is proof. My Mom made 1700 a month and was considered poor enough to receive Medicaid for LTC. 1400 a month is not much with the cost of living as it is.

When Moms house became empty, I unplugged the refrigerator,freezer, stove, washer/dryer and small appliances. I had a timer for the lights to go on at dark and turn off at 11pm. This cut down on Moms electric. Heat was set for 55. If the man wants it warmer, you could allow him to increase the temp but to please put it back to 55 when he leaves. (I have a thermostat I can set temps for different times of the day) I disconnected the cable and telephone. It saved me a lot of out of pocket once Mom was on Medicaid. I had to let taxes go. Living in NJ and retired, I could not afford to pay mine and hers. And not eventually be reimbursed. When her house sold after her passing, I was able to get enough to offset the outstanding taxes, water bill and Medicaid lean.

I'd quit working on the house and sell it 'as is'.
Use the proceeds for mom's care.

Your sweet hubby--working 2 jobs to keep you afloat b/c of mom.

You sell the house, find a nice AL or nursing home for her and apply for Medicaid when the time comes. Your husband should not have to work two jobs to support your mother.

I agree with Mstrbill about unloading the house and being done paying related bills being a priority, but not sure what the point of bankruptcy would be. If she has no money (and after the house sells) pay off any remaining debts. Whatever she can't pay, just walk away from (and don't worry about her credit score). Debtors can't come after you as long as you aren't co-signed on anything with her.

Has your mom been diagnosed with dementia by a doctor? If not, I hope she has her legal ducks in a row and has made you her durable PoA. This needs to happen before she ever goes into cognitive decline. Without this you won't be able to legally help/represent her. If/when she successfully sells the house and has those funds, get her into a good NH that accepts Medicaid. Once her funds are almost gone you can apply for Medicaid for her. Hopefully you are not a co-signer on any loans or credit cards w/her. Be careful about being joint on any of her bank accounts as this may impact Medicaid qualification. I'm an only, too. I get it.

Mom's probably at the point where she doesn't need bills or a house hanging over her head. I would consult an attorney about bankruptcy and getting rid of the house. Free her of all that burden. Then look into starting the process of applying her for LTC Medicaid. In the meantime before she is ready for LTC Medicaid she can pay rent to you out of her Social Security. Consult an attorney on how best to set it up. So, seek out an attorney who can handle bankruptcy matters and possibly down the road transitioning to LTC.

Have you checked into a Miller Trust aka qualified income trust?

She is going to have to sell her house. It may not be sold for as much, but you can't drown in debt so she can continue to pay a friend to work on it.

Sell it as is and then she can start paying her way in her new home.