Long story shortened. my husbands grandfather 88 and his wife of 50years also 88 are both of fairly poor health. They both offered to have Grandpas wife daughter (in her 50s) to move in to help take care of them : take them to doctors appointments, help make dinner, clean house a bit, take them grocery shopping etc. She lives there rent free because she is taking care of them. Grandpa has suttly been hinting that him and the caregiver (his daughter in law) do not get along. Two weeks ago when my husband went to visit grandpa told him he is not doing good at all and he is ready to move out because he does not like how he is being talked to and treated. Come to find out the caregiver since February will randomly flip out on grandpa and cuss him out and say she hates him. He asked his wife to make the caregiver(her daughter ) to move out and she said if she had to move out then she will be moving out with her because her daughter needs her since she was diagnosed with breast cancer a month ago. We went over there and all talked the care giver flipped out on me at first and started cussing me out and then soon calmed down once she realized that i wasn't going to argue with her. At the end of the conversation they all ended up apologizing and hugging it out and saying they will do better . That was two week ago.
These past few weeks we have been calling daily to check on them. Well today grandpa calls me and asks me to come and get him so he can move in with us because the caregiver stormed out of her room started cussing him out because he was vacuuming . I told him to start packing clothes and I would get him when I get off work. 30 mins later he calls my husband and says that his wife cried and begged for him to stay and hat she would take to the caregiver which is her daughter. Well I called later today and could tel the wife was upset she proceeded to tell me the care giver her daughter is moving tomorrow and has said she will no longer take care of them take them to doctors appointments grocery shooing etc. and that she has a prescription that needs to be picked up and she refuses to go get it. I told them not to worry that my husband and I will start calling home health facilities and I will come down every other day. And that after I get off work I would head there to get her card and go pick up her prescription. Witching the 15 mins of me talking to her and arriving at there house to get the card to go to pharmacy tonight the there of them were in the living room and I walked in and was told "they have made up again" "it was all going to be ok" the only thing I can think is she planned on moving it for a few days and knew that grandpa and Ann would call and beg for her to come back because they "needed her" in believe she seen hat I was calling and picked up the home phone in her room and listened in on her mother and my conversation about how she shouldn't worry and how we will get home health and help her and she freaked out and realized she needed to apologize or she would be homeless. Grandpa rode with me to the store and I told him I did not believe he problem is fixed and in a week or so she will be back to her old way and cussing and yelling at him again. But he wants to give her one last chance because once again she has gave them a pity party and played a mind game with them. She has them believing no one will help them but her and that she has no where to go and since she now has cancer she needs everything to. She really needs to move but she won't. I am at a lost to what to do. I know this vicious cycle will keep going in and on and it is not good for any of them..