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My mom has alzheimer's. We use to care her watch over her, since she had a mild stroke she longer with us. She no longer knows who we are. Before we went to doctor have check up when doctor do so. My wife and I watch her 24/7 but no longer with us. Almost 2 years mom have mild stroke now she at valley house. Valley house said all her finance bank account belong to Valley house, do they have the right to take mom the money to the bank. I have the right take the money since we care for her. Please let me know what the best option.

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Who and how is the cost of your mothers care in the facility being paid?

If your mother has the money - any money, it should and is required to go towards the cost of her care.

Is this fair? For a couple of years my mother and her sister in law were living in the same place. Mom had the money so she paid out of pocket - my aunt was broke so the tab was picked up by you and me - and my mom. Moms place was nearly identical to my aunts - the main difference being a small amount in the dining room allowance. Plus - you and I were also funding my uncles stay in a different facility. Is it fair? That's a long complicated question but the short answer is - that's the price our society pays to look after people who need care but have no money. It is the right thing to do, imho.

Between my father and my mother, they paid literally hundreds of thousands of dollars out of their own money over the years for their care. As the person seeing that they were being cared for properly, would  I like to have had that money? Absolutely! But the hand off - seeing and knowing thousands of elderly would be forced to live in situations - perhaps homeless, no medical coverage, suffering intentional or unintentional abuse by having to live with their families who can't or won't provide proper care - well, it's just not worth it to me and my conscious.

People who can pay their way - or even contribute towards it, do. Those who can't are dependent on the kindness of strangers - by way of Medicaid.
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If your mom is in a nursing home, the home does have the right to be paid. Is your mom getting any kind of financial aid? Are you in the US?

Study the papers that were signed when mom entered the nursing home. What do they say about how the nursing home will get paid?
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You are the family, and there for have the right to take the money. If you need to, get power of attorney. Then you legally can do whatever is needed.
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