Vacation caregiver advice?

Thanks. I think I needed to just kind of "say it" and get the issue out of my system. I appreciate the advice.

Then just call her everyday to make sure she's OK and have emergency numbers with you in case you need to call them. Sounds like she'll be fine. Enjoy your time away!

There is no-one else to check on her. We do not belong to a church or other groups like that. We live away from where we started and don't have a support group. We're not close with our neighbors and she has no close friends. We're introverts and we basically keep to ourselves.

I don't mean there's no help available -- the local senior center has resources and someone gave me a tip to check the VA. The problem isn't that I don't think I can find anyone to help but more that I'm not sure how's she's going to take it. I think the comment that our first trip away could cause her to panic gives me the idea that I probably should really get someone to visit her. I wasn't going to leave without giving her phone numbers of our hotel, but I'm not sure that's enough.

What I'm starting to think I'll do is to tell her this:
"Mom, we're going away for a few days. I know you've lived perfectly fine without us your entire life and you don't need help, but I just would feel better if you'd let me find someone to check in on you. Would you do this for me to feel that I'm doing all I can for you? Will you try it just this one time, please?"

It's a real stick in her craw that we sometimes forget that we're the children and she's the parent -- we shouldn't be trying to baby her as we do, is her opinion. It's partly a matter of pride and partly stubbornness. This isn't recent -- we're a very independent group of people in my family and we don't like having people trying to boss us around. Hence, I'm trying to be cautious how I approach things with her, so that she knows I do still respect her as an individual and adult.

Just to add, leave numbers of a neighbor, close friend in large print by all the phones that she can call. Tell her, you will call once a day in the morning or evening whatever you prefer and that you won't be able to be reached in between but that she can call Sherri or whoever she has number for.

Maybe you can let one of moms close friends know you will be out and ask if they will take mom out for lunch one day and you give them a gift card to a local restaurant or whatever. Have another sibling call daily and speak with her or if they live nearby to visit with her or whatever.

Agree, take this much needed break and try not to worry,

Do you have anyone else in the family who can drop by to check on her? Church ladies or a pastor or someone who could just make sure she's OK? My mom is 94 with short-term memory issues, but she'd be fine for 3-4 days. I'd call her every day, but maybe you want to have a total break from your mom. I'd post emergency numbers on your fridge (or somewhere she can easily see) and take numbers for local fire, etc. with you. Make sure her medical info. is readily available to anyone coming into the home.

Well, they tend to go into a full blown panic when you are away. She may call you and complain she is in agony and death is imminent. My MIL was famous for doing this even in her early 70's. Make sure you have the land line number for your local police department, so you can call them and send them to check on her welfare when this happens. Just assign siblings or grandchildren to check on her daily, and enjoy your time off.