My father has been assessed by the VA. They were helpful in getting a new pair of hearing aids, New Walker, etc. they also did a home assessment. We already had grab bars and ramps, so house checked out. We have had Lifeline for past three years, so even if no one is at home, if he’s ill or if he falls, he can reach someone, although typically he’s never alone for more than 1-2 hours. He’s ambulatory. He told the VA worker that we won’t bring him food. But when the VA worker queried him, it came out that meant he would often wake up and then yell for someone to bring him food. At times, that happens when we’re at church or at a grandchild’s ballgame. But often we are at home and he just can’t hear us, so he’ll yell, or call, or do a group text to get someone to walk a sandwich or bowl of cereal back to his room. If we know we’re going to be out of the house, we try to get him to eat before we leave, or will tell him we’ll bring him something after church, etc. but he often will drift off and lose track of time and think we’ve been gone longer than what it’s been.
We do try to get him out of bed for 30 minutes once a day... usually at supper. However, it’s getting harder and harder to get him to rouse. The VA worker told us to make him get up and walk around. I just don’t know how to make someone get up who just refuses to do so. It’s sad...but also embarrassing when he tells people we’re not feeding him. He will also call on our phones... even if we’re in the house... to bring him food. Even if it’s after we’ve gone to bed, or we’re in church, or if he forgets that we’ve gone out of town and one of our kids is staying at the house with him. (We don’t leave him alone except for short periods.) I know he sometimes forgets... but sometimes he doesn’t, and then it’s aggravating that he expects my husband or me to be at his beck and call. Especially after the VA worker encouraged him to be a little more self-reliant.
Sorry for venting. I know some of it is just not always realizing what time it is. And some of it is due to limited mobility. But it’s a vicious cycle of not moving, then feeling stiff. And there is also elements of depression, too. But he won’t even go out for short drives.
Thanks for letting me post.