Follow
Share

My understanding is that her children have not talked with her in 20 years. I have not see my cousins since I was two years old. Since, I have the DPOA for my Aunt and am the only family member in her life. The N/H advised me this past week that the doctor asked that Hospice take a look at my Aunt. She has now been accepted into this "program". Spoke to the Chaplain today who called. He said she has less than 6 months left and mentioned Alzheimer's. First time I heard both words concerning my Aunt. I think they should know but, of course, am afraid of their negative reactions, if any.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
P. S. My Aunt has no assets and no will.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

No response from my cousins from earlier letters. Did send a duplicated letter to each cousin at their last known addresses with return receipts. Received three out of four receipts. They are not on social media and I do not have their email addresses. We are strangers. I am hoping an attorney will have better access to their current addresses and may encourage the cousins to respond. It would be their last chance to see her, even though she may not know them. It could also allow them to open a conversation with me, even though it could be negative. Many have said I owe them nothing as they have given nothing. It's my conscience speaking to my heart, I suppose. Thanks for your responses.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

What earlier attempts did you make? Do you have everyone's address? Were you trying to phone them or email them or what? I'm trying to determine if they got your messages and didn't respond or if you don't have good contact information for them.

Sending them certified letters that they have to sign for would ensure that they get the simple message that their mother has dementia and is now in hospice care would assure that they know. Your responsibility ends there. I don't know why being contacted by a lawyer would be any more effective.

If you would prefer to stay out of this, ask the chaplain if he would send a brief message to each of them.

Does Aunt have any assets to leave anyone? Does she have a will?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Tonight is not my night. Sorry I missed that you queried about using an attorney.

I get the feeling you're uncomfortable with your cousins, presumably because of the long period of no contact. If you feel that an attorney could handle the contacts and keep you out of any line of fire, do so.

I think you know better than us what the relationship is between you and your cousins, and if you really don't want or are uncomfortable notifying them, then an attorney could do it.

I'm wondering also if the chaplain couldn't perform this service as well.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Third paragraph should read: "if you don't tell them..." Sorry.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Why would they react negatively? To the fact that she named you as her attorney-in-fact?

The cousins should know; I would e-mail them (rather than call them) if you have their addresses, and provide them with information on where she'll be and how to contact her. If they don't, you've done your duty to inform them.

If you don't them them about her status now, there might easily be accusations and complaints later.

Sorry you had to learn of this unsettling diagnosis.

But it may also give your cousins the opportunity to make peace with her, if they choose to do so.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.