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Could not reach her from 5 to 7. Came to her house and found her sitting in a chair. Food in the kitchen uneaten. She had no idea how long she had been there. Doesn't remember cooking. She just said she was cold. She refused to get up and go to bed for about 30 min. I mentioned calling an ambulance and she said if I did she'd disown me. I have her in the bed now eating a BLT. Does anyone know what that is? I'm not a nurse. Only thing lately that's been going on is age, gets dizzy and has a history of passing out. I lived with her 4 months last year bc of the passing out.

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She needs to see her doctor. What medications is she on? They are notorious for causing dizziness. She will need to be checked for a UTI which can cause rapid mental changes. This isn't a choice. She can disown you all she likes, but she will meanwhile get a checkup. It is not sounding as though she is in a place of safety currently, and it is now sadly your obligation to see that she is. You may need to "do a move in for a few days" to assess what's happening here. She may no longer be safe alone.
Do get one of the urine dip stick tests at your pharmacy, collect a specimen from Mom and test yourself by the color chart to look for indications of UTI.
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Your profile says that your mother has dementia in addition to other health problems. Dementia itself can cause all kind of health issues, like poor balance, confusion, disorientation, resistance to care, sleep disorders, inability to take proper medication. Also, they may lack proper judgment and have no idea what is in their best interest. Do you have POA and HCPOA? It sounds like she's not able to care for herself properly. Perhaps, her doctor could order some home care assistants or long term care placement.
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Tanya, your description of going with gut instinct, knowing your mom and her health/body so well you trust that instinct doesn't sound odd to me at all! In fact I think that's the ideal when it comes to our body/mind health, patients should listen too and trust their own instincts and when age or just health decline reaches the point where you can't do that for yourself one can only hope to have a daughter or loved one like you who is able to be that in tune & secure with us and do it for or with us. Good for you!
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Call 911 so she can be properly tested at the hospital; medications may be prescribed to help her. Let the medical professionals diagnose her. Her "rejection" of you for doing so won't last long
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Tanya, I haven't read any of your other posts (I assume there are some) or those here on this thread, but just wanted to quickly comment on getting dizzy and passing out.    I can think of a few issues.    Vertigo can cause very unpleasant and powerful dizziness.  I've never passed out from it, but I also don't dare move b/c I'm so dizzy. 

Also, orthostatic hypotension can cause passing out.    Does your mother take any BP lowering meds, or does she have low BP?    There's also a medical phenomenon called syncope, in which someone passes out but the cause is difficult to determine.  That's happened to my father more than a few times. 

It sounds like there are some other medical issues, so I'm addressing only the passing out.
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anonymous1000836 Jan 6, 2020
This started last year around this time. She was passing out at least once a week. She was in and out of the hospital 50 to 60 days last yr. We lived with her throughout all of that. Took what seemed like forever to get her meds straight. Yes low blood pressure is one problem. And 2 weeks ago urgent care said she had vertigo. She does not consume enough water. All that on top of is this mini strokes. Its extremely dangerous for her to be cooking during this time. Seems like a lot of the passing out has been in the kitchen. Last year we found her out cold with a metal pan on her glass top stove just a burning. The water was gone. All I could think on high, what if it exploded. Tonight she cooked but had everything off b4 whatever happened. I know in a perfect world what i need but I live far from that place. Again my moms health overrides everything right now. Thanks for the info. Anything i can learn is helpful.
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Tanya, your profile doesn't say where you live.

How far away is the closest teaching hospital, one that is affiliated with a medical school?
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While it could be a UTI it sounds like you are pretty in tune to the changes in her when she has one of those and it could also very well be a TIA which is often a prelim or warning if you will that a more major stroke or heart attack is coming so not getting that checked out is rolling the dice for much bigger issues. There of course are a variety of other things that could be going on but do both you and your mother a favor and either get her to a doctor if she will go or call an ambulance to take her the ER if she wont. Her disposition about it doesn't matter now, her choices are calling and seeing her doctor or going by ambulance there is no choice to stay home and do nothing. Now you could compromise I suppose and call her doctor who will likely tell you to either bring her in or take her to ER so the responsibility is taken off of you a bit, you could even just say maybe I am over reacting but I need the doctor to tell me that, should be call Dr X or Dr Y?

We often resist seeking care when we know we should be and that can often land us in the hospital but it isn't always out of stubbornness or denial sometimes it's a symptom of the medical issue it's self, we are too far over the edge to recognize we have a problem and are lucky to have daughters like you around to recognize there is an issue that needs immediate attention.

When my GM was in the hospital after heart surgery I walked into her room one day to visit (this was many years ago) and immediately knew something wasn't right, she was talking and responsive but she wasn't herself but in a way only family that knew her well knew right away. I told the nurse something wasn't right and sure enough she had had a TIA (or several I don't really know) and they told us then that had I not piked up on it and alerted them they likely would not have known until she had a stroke which would have likely happened. They ended up converting her a couple of times but had she not been in the hospital I doubt we would have known and she would have had a stroke. Don't second guess your instinct here. Again not saying it is certainly something that major but it could be and whatever is going on better to know than wonder and wait for the other shoe to drop! I'll be thinking of you.
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anonymous1000836 Jan 6, 2020
Thank you. I have been talking to her doctors for a few weeks now about everything that is happening. I am going to call her heart Dr in the morning and see if there are some tests that can be ran without going thru the ER. I guess not knowing us and how much she has been thru and how many times she has contracted something or actually came home worse plays into the ER decision. That's actually one thing I agree with her on. I just need to know what going on so I know how to handle things. I've been thru a lot with her medical conditions. I guess God knew she would need someone and picked me. When i was I don't know 11 or 12, i was there with her when she had sinus surgery. Nobody ever came. I was the only one there. Crazy how long I've been doing this. I wish my sister would give me a few days to decompress bc with no breaks I get wound up. I've been upset a lot this week and these things keep happening. Im not sure how many caregivers on here deal with an extreme stubborn parent but mine has to b way up there. Its like arguing with my son who has several ADHD. Easier sometimes to pick battles. That's the way it is about the ER for my mom. I will update tomorrow when I hear from Becca the heart Dr nurse.
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TAnya, are there any geriatrics doctors where you live?

I was living the kind of episodic Hell you describe, taking mom to multiple docs each week.

When we got her into a facility, we decided to use the geriatrics doctor who had an office there.

He took her off all of her meds except for bo and anxiety. He adjusted those. He got her in to see a geriatric psychiatrist. Mom's life and mine were much better.

You can also ask about hospice care. No more hospital runs.
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anonymous1000836 Jan 6, 2020
I can check and see. We live in a small town. She won't do hospice. My uncle was tired of taking care of his mom and he used hospice to kill her. Its a long story but true. That's my moms mom. I just have a lot against me
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Tanya, we get that she is mean and angry. I'm sure she'll be nice to the young handsome EMTs. Let them sweet talk her into going to the ER.

Who has your boy?
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anonymous1000836 Jan 6, 2020
Hes with me. I don't have sitters. I know why she hates the hospitals. We've had some bad experiences at our local hospital. I've had to take her out against their advice bc she got worse and worse and was misdignoised. Luckily I got her better that time at home. I'm going to call her Dr in the morning. I've already told 3 of her Drs this is happening. They changed her meds, we had an EKG last week. Its just scary to have this happen every week.
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Her disowning you is the least of your problems. Please listen to the other posters and get her to the doctor. My mother had a small stroke and had similar issues.
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You need to call 911. Now.

You are the only grownup in the room.

As you mention, you are not a nurse. Even if you were, without access to a lab, you dont know if her electrolytes are out of whack. Or her blood gases. You don't know if she's dehydrated. Or had a stroke. Or has a UTI, which can turn septic and kill her. She might have pneumonia.

In ANY event, she needs to be seen right now to figure out what is going on.
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Good possibility she is having TIA's. My aunt would have these and pass out.
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Tanya so sorry this happened. Many of us have been following your problems with Mom. This is your opportunity to act. Call 911. She may have had a TMI small stoke or as mentioned a UTI. Stop letting her idle threats inhibit you. How would she disown you? She doesn’t even have a will. Get her to the hospital. And push for rehab at a facility to get you some time to do the things you’ve been struggling with. Talk to the social worker. Tell them she’s living on her own and is a vulnerable elder. You can’t keep this up. I hope we’re not coming off as “judgy ” as you mentioned. We’re trying to help because sometimes its so hard to see the forest from the trees. But sometimes outsiders can. Hugs.
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When this happened to my mom, it was a raging urinary tract infection. She NEEDS to go to the doctor and be tested. These don’t go away on their own. I doubt if she will disown you.
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anonymous1000836 Jan 6, 2020
Thank you. She would be in a mess if she disowned me bc nobody would come over. We just had her urine checked last week. In the past I usually know b4 she does that she has a UTI. But it could be. I dont know. Its hard doing this alone all the time and She is just mean and angry
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