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Most of the house I am forbidden from using unless he is asleep or not home. I get yelled at for using the bathroom if he has a bad day. He said he can't focus and I ruin his whole schedule by grabbing a drink, taking a shower or walking down the hallway. I can't prepare food for myself if he is in a bad mood. He asks continuously how long it's going to take and stands on top of me. He gets furious at me if I am looking at him even though I'm not. He stands there freaking out about his schedule being ruined. Says I am talking too much, but I barely talk to him.

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When he is not home?! Where does he go? Is your dad independent enough to leave the house on his own?

Does he have any history of mental illness? Is this new behavior?

You really need to remove yourself from this household. If you are waiting for an ideal situation before you move, it is not going to happen under these conditions.

Stay with a friend. Call social services and find a shelter. Rent a cheap motel room for a night or two. Sleep in your car if you have to.

Pease continue to talk to us here and provide follow ups.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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We need to know the source of your stipend. Why is your family in control of your money?

You need to report him to APS, and you need to find another place to live. Ask around if there is a couch you can use until you find a better spot. Some folks rent out rooms in their homes and you have to be careful but you can find a roommate who already has a house and probably has a furnished room you can rent. You have to get out of the situation you are in as it is dangerous. Aside from being abusive (controlling behavior is abuse) it is also dangerous that he is threatening you. It sounds like he may hurt you at some point in the near future. Your family doesn't care because they are in denial, and also they don't want to do the work. If they told you to pray for gas, then they are also unreasonable.
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Reply to SamTheManager
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You cannot deal with him, this is why you must leave: the only person you can control is yourself. Your other relatives are stupid and complicit in this abuse but you can't be abused if you stay there.

If you have any friends or even co-workers I would call them and beg to sleep at there place. Have another person with you as you pack up your things. Try to plan doing it when he isn't home if at all possible. DO NOT tell him you're moving out because he may actually become angrier at this.

Also, what is the stipend you are talking about? Is it an allowance? Monies from a trust fund? We can't give you guidance if you don't tell us specifics.

And, how old are you?

You can also start calling up churches in your area: big ones, small ones... often they either have a benevolent fund that they can use for people in distress like yourself, or they can find volunteers who can temporarily house you. My small-ish church has been doing this for 25 years. You do not have to be a believer, an attender or church member. A real Christ-like church won't care.

If your stipend is from some family trust, and the trustee is giving your money to your Father, then this is a legal issue and you can tell them you'll contact an attorney regarding this financial abuse.

Depending if you live in a suburb or metro area, you can consider joining Nextdoor.com, which is an intranet of people who actually live in that town, area, neighborhood and participants are mostly non-anonymous. Where I live I see requests for help all the time. You just have to be discerning and wise about who you connect with, just like any other social media.

I wish you mush success in getting out immediately. I agree with staying in your car (but if you live up north it may be too cold for this...I'm in MN and this is not really an option right now). Walmarts allow people to park in their lots overnight without harassment from the police to move on.

Again, try to have someone at the house with you while you are packing up and leaving. Tell them if your Father starts winding up that this person should video his behavior and then you can call 911 to try to have him Baker Acted (or 5150 hold, social admit... there's different names for a 72-hr hospital psych hold).

It will be very difficult at first but it will get better as you are out from under his (and your family's) control. I wish you success, and much wisedom and courage to leave behind your awful family and go on to live a happy and peaceful life.
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Reply to Geaton777
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I agree with Grandma, that until you leave there is nothing that you can do. I would check the shelters also, if you are unable to find a room with friends or "couch surf" until you find one.

It is sad to say, but true: not everything can be fixed. As long as you are dependent on someone you are obligated to doing things "their way".
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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You are being abused.
You must leave this situation.
There are shelters and help for people that are leaving a situation like this.
Domestic abuse people usually think of a spousal situation but this is abuse just the same.
If you can not leave the next time he threatens you call 911 and report the situation and when they come tell the officers that you are willing to press charges. Tell them that you are afraid for your safety if he returns to the house.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Contact a domestic abuse call line or the police non emergency line for assistance in finding a shelter for temporary living. Go physically to police if you have to. In an emergency call 911.
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Reply to AMZebbC
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When he threatens you, call 911. Each and every time. Stay on the phone with the dispatcher until the police arrive, so they can hear him. Record his threats on your phone.
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Reply to MG8522
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What is keeping you from leaving?
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Reply to Dawn88
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Snoopy1979 Dec 18, 2025
Money. The Dv shelter doesn't see this as dv and the other shelter is full
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Leave today even if it’s to your car or a homeless shelter.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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