Follow
Share

I'm the baby (I'm 49!), but for whatever reasons, never married, no kids. My sibs and I are doing our best to take care of our parents. Right now, we are all pitching in together. It's tough, but I love my family. I'm the only one who has no kids/husband of my own. I'm just looking ahead. I'm just sad that I will lose my parents and I don't really have anything to fall back on. Can anyone relate?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
As Captain said, and other people have mentioned, just because you have kids, doesn't mean they will take care of you. I worry about that too, as I am unmarried with no kids and manage the care of both my parents. They just went into a nice AL facility two months ago, but both have dementia and health issues, so it still takes a lot of time, energy and stress on my part. I've always had them to turn to, but now I am the parent and it's so sad. When they are gone, I will feel horribly alone. I do have one sib I grew up with but he lives in another state and I have three birth sibs (thank God I found them), but they live out of state as well. I'm trying to enjoy my folks as much as possible now because I know it won't be too long, Mom is 86 and Dad 88. But caregiving is SOOOO HARD!
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I'm married but have no kids. Seeing my mom go through these aging issues it sometimes makes me a bit nervous about what the future holds. Seeing my mom, who does nothing except smoke and complain and pop xanax, and my in-laws, who are curious and active, I vow to be more like them, since they're actually still enjoying their lives. I try to look for positive aging examples.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

ive got two sons you can have . im genetically predisposed to dementia and frankly my bats and spiders console me more than those two saps . one of em smokes pot like a train and the other one has a head as square as a rubiks cube . happy sailing , i dont need their dumb s*it ..
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

all kiddin aside , i worry about that , pam . when my aunt is gone im going to have one heck of a void in my life . my mother and aunt needed me.
i built another home 15 years ago figuring i could troll around in the basement while grandkids were living upstairs . i guess that could still happen ..
gonna go see em again this weekend . " rubiks cube " has gotten rather burned out on his emt career , he could end up back down this way someday .
i still squeeze off rifle shots at bluntman when he drives by . he aint siphoning my friggin fuel tank anymore . it wasnt funny when he was 5 and it aint funny now .
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I know I am young, like a kid to you but I just wanted to say that sometimes blood relations don't make someone your family. Parents, children, siblings, cousins etc can be very ungrateful and pain in the butts. We don't chose blood relatives. But we chose our friends and they can be a true family to us. So if someone is related or not, has children or not it doesn't really matter. It matters if you have people you love and care about in your life. And it is NEVER too late for love or friendship.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I can relate somewhat. Married but no kids, and solely responsible for managing my mother's care. Thank goodness she and my father (deceased now) planned and saved well, and got their paperwork in order. But like Joannes situation, my mother (advancing dementia) is in complete denial, as well as having lifelong personality traits of being inflexible and uncooperative. I do have a sibling, but he is not involved, which is fine actually.
I am a bit of an introvert, and know that I really need to cultivate more friendships and community involvement. I am sociable, I really am! :) But, with working full time and managing my mother's needs, and taking care of a household (small though it is), I just don't have any desire after all that to go meet up with friends or commit more than an hour or so to socializing.
I know this is a very sensitive issue, but I'm with kathyt1 -- I haven't looked into it yet, but definitely will arrange something like dignitas for myself. I know so many disagree with this, and I respect that. But for myself, well, I have no problem with it. Makes sense to me for many reasons.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I can sorta relate.... been divorced for 20 years, no children, but I did find a significant-other from a high school reunion website.... but after a certain age they aren't easy to train because they are so set in their ways ;)

My significant other has two grown and married children from a previous marriage, good people, but they can't barely take care of themselves, so their Dad won't be able to depend on them for any Caregiving help. Thus, we have our sights set on really nice retirement villages/facilities.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

looloo, volunteering is great.... I do volunteer work Saturday morning at a regional hospital and meet the nicest people. Lot of volunteers are my age, too.

In fact, my desk mate is a women who is dealing with impossible in-laws who came to visit for a year from the old home land.... imagine, visiting for a year !!.... anyway, we vent to each other about carrying for aging parents. We look forward to our weekly sessions :)
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Frequentflyer, that sounds great! I think volunteering sounds like a great way to meet people, have fun, and "do good" all at the same time :).
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I know what you mean about the emptiness when they are gone. There are lots of folks here that will be happy to let you take over their charges for a month. They will be at the beach while you change diapers.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter