Unexpected transition necessary, any suggestions?

Ask the social worker if she can stay there under Medicaid pending. If she cannot, make sure they know that you cannot under any circumstances take her home with you. You are unable to safely care for her. They will then have to find a safe discharge. The social worker will contact other nursing homes in the area to see if they have an open bed. You can help in this area as well, but make sure you don't take her home with you and don't sign any paperwork stating you will be financially responsible. Only have your mother sign the paperwork.

In the best interests of you and your family, and especially your mother, do a crash course in aspects of care available to her.
Investigate funding, contact social services at her present site and ask what they consider her level of needed care to be, visit residential living sites available in your (her?) area that meet the sort of needs identified by her present rehab facility. Are you or the “caring” sibling available for site checks? Knowing what’s out there may be helpful for decision making however you decide to address her needs moving forward.

I wish I had taken action to formally assess my LO’s cognitive and emotional levels of functioning before she needed residential care. Because she looked fabulous and presented with a veneer of sophistication, and still does, her initial placement quickly proved to be inappropriate for her, and there were complications and family arguments about her care because none of us were prepared for the
fact that her dementia needed immediate attention, which was unexpected. Even if she passes ALL cognitive testing, it’s good to have a baseline for comparison if the time comes.

My last tip is to be “water on stone”. If you don’t get helpful answers the first time you ask a question, ask the question again, peacefully and non defensively. Sometimes people forget that although they are answering the same questions every day, some of the people asking are Asking for the first time.

Hope the path to success is relatively smooth for all of you. You will experience bumps and glitches. Come back and let us know how you’re doing, so we can learn from you and you can learn from us!

When Mom was in rehab, the day I found out that she was no longer going to be accepted at assisted living, I applied for Medicaid. You get put into a Medicaid Pending status until approved. She continued to reside at rehab until we found a suitable placement. She was still Pending, but her eventual NH was loosely affiliated with the rehab place so there were no issues and all costs were covered when the approval finally came through months later, and the transition paperwork wise was easy. Does the rehab also have a NH attached or affiliated that you might consider? The Social worker can help with this. They do it all day long.

From your profile: "I am the only daughter. I have 2 siblings, one who engages in my mother's well being and one who does not. I live in a different state than my mother."

You wrote this above: " Living with me is not an option for a number of reasons."

Stand firm, despite what your brothers may suggest/urge. (Often the daughter is the one expected to take Mama in.)

Is one of your brothers closer in location than you are? Can you talk to both of them (conference call?) to discuss your mother's situation? Who has POA/HCPOA?

You mention Medicaid for "some financial assistance." Are you expecting Medicaid to pay for 24/7 in-home caregivers? (It won't, except in NYS, apparently.) What about a facility? Please tell us you aren't one of the ones who promised your mother that you would never put her in a facility!

You find out if there is a NH who will accept her " Medicaid Pendong". The social work staff at the rehab can help with this.

She has no funds to self pay?