Is anyone underappreciated by their siblings?

Luckily, my sibs don't question how mom's money is spent. (It's only spent on her needs.) But feeling under appreciated? Daily. It's all I can do to not write and send them daily a lengthy email detailing every hour of my day taking care of mom who has moderate/advanced dementia and is incontinent. Each day seems sooooooo looooong.

Whenever I have to take my mother somewhere, it takes hours. I always email my three brothers to let them know what I have done and the time it has taken. I also give them an update on how our mother is.

My mother has told me I'm a liar and doesn't think I do much at all for her. One time I had to stay with her and become her servant for 8 days because she strained some muscles. She told me it was only for a "day or two." So I'm documenting all the time I spend to make sure my brothers know.

I think they appreciate me, but I also suspect they think I'm whining. Too bad; I'm on the scene here and they aren't. They are welcome to move my mother to be near one of them. I wouldn't protest!

There was a man on this forum who kept records of everything he spent out of his Moms money. His brother eventually asked for an accounting. The man was able to send him everything and as of his last post, the brother never questioned it again.
All you have to do is take a tablet and one column you show what Dad brings in. In the other show the expenses incurred every month. It will probably show Dad is in the red. Then show where u have to write checks to compensate. Then tell ur brother it would be nice if he shared in some of dads upkeep. Bet he doesn"t complain again until Dad dies then he will want his share.

If your siblings are making false and cruel comments about your handling of your dad's finances, I'd make sure that I was covered. Just for my own protection, I'd consult with an attorney to make sure you have the proper authority to handle things on his behalf, like POA and/or Social Security Representative Payee authorization. And, I'd keep good records.

It sounds like your brother may not be too happy with the situation. I'd make sure dad had his Will in order, too. Since, the passing of a parent usually only makes troubles like this worse.

Yes!

This will probably be a long thread as it is so common. Many siblings who are not caregivers are clueless at the cost of caregiving.. at what your value is worth, the sacrifices to keep them at home as long as possible. Imagine if they had to hire someone to do what you are doing...or pay for an expensive facility?