She lives in a state funded apt. complex, her dr. took her off of her psych. meds, she is hearing voices, won't wear her oxygen because she is convinced the dr. is trying to poison her, digging holes into her skin because she believes she has maggots crawling under her skin, she is constantly calling the landlord of her building complaining about the voices she hears to the point he is threatening to kick her out. We live in another state and have offered many times to bring her into our home with us, but she absolutely refuses to leave the state she lives in. Her only friend who has been amazing at helping her has reached her breaking point and called my husband at work today. We just don't know what to do or where to turn. We have put in several calls to her dr, and as of yet, haven't received a call back. Help, please, we have no clue where to turn at this point.
And I also agree with Babalou. This lady needs more care than you will ever be able to manage at home, unless she becomes your full time job with lots of overtime. I know how tough this is but you need to deal with this in person.
I would start researching appropriate care facilities now. It would be better if you and your husband could go and inspect them yourselves.
This must be so traumatic for you and your husband, so do some research on facilities which take care of dementia patients so he can be reassured his mother will get better care in a facility that she will in her current situation.
Why was she taken off psych meds? I would have the local friend call 91 and have her transported to the hospital to see if they can get the paranoia, hallucinations and delusions under control with meds.