My uncle, I have discovered, isn’t paying his rent or bills and has no money in his account. How do I help when he won't talk about it?

Since u mentioned 215lbs I will assume ur in the UK. Laws maybe different there concerning people like your Uncle but here in the US our hands are tied. If he is considered competent to make informed decisions then there is nothing you can do. Consequences are that his electric and phone will be turned off. He may get evicted. You can help but he probably will do this over and over.

Just a suggestion, do not bring him into your home. You will inherit all his problems and not be able to get rid of him.

This came to me the other day:

I'm here to help people find a way, not to be the way.

From my own personal experience you can't ask the senior if they are of sound mind and you can't assess it yourself since you are not a doctor. There is such a thing called "apparent competency". If you ask the senior general questions they can give you general answers ("How are you doing today?" "I'm fine.") as opposed to specific memory-based questions ("Who is the President?" "What day of the week is it today?" "What season are we in?"). My MIL *seemed* fine until you asked her the latter questions then she had no clue. She could look outside and still not tell you what season we were in.

From what you've written he does probably have memory decline, that is why he "won't talk about it" -- because he can't, he doesn't remember and won't/can't admit he can't remember. The story about lending money to someone may or may not be true. Elders with memory issues will often tell you a story that they believe sincerely but never happened. You must relay what you know to social services so that he gets tested and has an actual diagnosis (if he has cognitive decline/memory impairment). This is very important. He may be beyond being legally able to assign a PoA. If I were in your shoes I would pursue this and help him until there's a medical diagnosis and then you can make a decision to pursue legal guardianship or not (if he's no longer able or still not willing to assign you or anyone as PoA).

”He won’t sign power of attorney as he is still of a sound mind. I am the only family member left everyone else has passed away”

The irony of that statement. Does he imagine that when he is not of sound mind that his signing a POA will be valid or that he will know when he is not of sound mind? Sigh

I am sorry that you are unable to help your uncle.

My friends sister has had a gambling problem for years and doesn’t seem to grasp that it has ruined her financially. she is much more interested in arranging things for more funds to be freed up as she strongly believes she will “win”.

Addicts are focused on the one thing. Regardless, it will play out eventually. Good that he isn’t pressing you for money to cover his loses.

If your uncle lies constantly and won’t explain his financial situation, there is nothing you can do. This is not all bad – you certainly don’t want to be taking responsibility yourself.

If you want, you could spell out for him what is likely to happen. Leave yourself out of any options. You can keep a totally social relationship if you want. Just talk about the past, or your hobbies, NOT his finances, bills or living arrangements.

I suppose focus on what you CAN do at present.

You could leave him with phone numbers of an elder advice service, a social worker service or perhaps the AL manager's name & number? Giving him an opportunity to seek help on his own.

You could chat to the AL Manager yourself (not being too specific to maintain his privacy) but to voice your concerns over his judgement & ask if they had any concerns with his health, behaviour or mental capacity?

Unless your Uncle asks you to help.. or gives you permission/legal ability to get involved with his finances, you can't actually do much more than that. The ball is in your Uncle's court so to speak.

A Social Worker once told me;
1. advice the person of your concerns, known risks & where to seek help.
2. Let them decide on a course of action.
3. The consequences are theirs.

At some time in the future, IF your Uncle asks for your help, you can decide on your ability to do so & in what capacity.

I don't honestly see how you can help, in all truth. What is it you imagine you might be able to do here? Your uncle may end up homeless if is not suffering from dementia. If he is suffering from dementia his facility may call in social workers who can assist him with diagnosis, with conservatorship of the state, and with applications for medicaid to pay for a nursing home.
I doubt that you will be contacted regarding this; the facility will likely contact his next of kin if there is one. But in many cases there is no immediate family.
It is very unusual to pay "a small rent" in an assisted living. There may be a lot that you don't understand here, and in fact your uncle may already be paying his Social Security checks toward his living expenses and may be on medicaid you aren't aware of. Hard to say.
Has someone contacted you regarding all of this? Has someone asked you to take an action? Has your uncle been asked to leave his facility?

Your uncle is clearly in need of financial oversight. If he has drawn up a power of attorney, you need to track it down to see who has the legal authority to intervene. If none exists, his family might consider getting legal guardianship.

Do you, or any other family member have POA?

The answer to this may affect responses that you get.