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...so today when I called to check on Dad from my second job, he was completely out of breath. When I asked why, he said he was putting his shirt back on from getting X rays. At first I thought he was confused, so I called the ALF and after multiple rings, someone finally answered.


When I asked about it, they did confirm that a tech had just left Dad's room, but no one could tell me who authorized this procedure or why. I literally have no idea WHY he was x-rayed. It doesn't seem like Hospice to authorize such an invasive procedure without notifying me first.


I know that the ALF has a doctor that makes rounds, so maybe that person authorized it, but I'm really annoyed. Now I have to take time from job # 2 to track down WHO authorized this procedure and why.


Isn't there a rule somewhere that if a person is not capable of making decisions on their own to notify the responsible party?


I'm so stressed. This is NOT a good place to be at a customer service job you hate, and I won't get answers until Tuesday thanks to the holiday. I swear I CAN'T win with this caregiving thing.

Had not read that here before I sent a message to Tiny- his brain is broken. We forget that this person we used to know now has the reasoning ability of a child. It's so hard.
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Tinyblu, I have OCD, too, but eventually I learned to just go with the flow.

My Dad use to call me saying he had been at a meeting, it ran late, he missed his bus back home, so he will be at the hotel. Well, the last time Dad took a bus to and from work was back int he 1940's, and the hotel he was saying was his Memory Care facility. Finally I learned just to humor Dad by saying "sorry you missed the bus, will see you tomorrow". Rinse. Repeat.

Just take a deep breath, and as this progresses you will learn to just say "whatever" to yourself when your Dad isn't making any sense. You need to remember it is not his fault, his brain is broken. And no matter how hard we try, we cannot fix it :(
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Thanks everyone... I followed up today and WHO KNOWS what Dad was talking about?

I can't make heads or tails about what's reality and what's fiction anymore. I constantly worry that I'll mistake a real issue for an "episode" and screw up like I did with Dad's former Adult Day Care.

Dad told me for weeks that he couldn't breathe and I brushed it off as his dementia. It turned out that Dad was indeed running out of oxygen because that director wasn't communicating with me that this was happening. I dropped the ball and don't want to EVER do that again...

Sometimes I secretly wish...
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It does not matter why the xray was made - pneumonia, tuberculosis, cancer screen, technician practice day from the local nursing school. He's old and any normal dose of x-ray is not going to kill him before his lung disease takes him away. For you and me, yes, we want to limit our radiation exposure, but for him, a diagnostic xray for whatever reason is fine.

Tiny, this kind of thing is exactly **why** you WANT dad in AL, especially under Hospice. It's another set of eyes and ears, taking care of what has to be done but does **not** need your immediate input. You don't need to worry over every little snort and sniffle - hospice has your back and has it covered.

You do realize he is going to pass sooner than later, or he would not be on hospice. When he is actively dying, you will need to have someone with him 24/7, and if he is at your house, then you will have nowhere to escape from the madness. He's fine where he is with medical personnel available to treat him immediately, no time off work for you needed. They are actually doing their job when it counts.
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anonymous262233 May 29, 2018
Thanks, Surprise. This whole process has me on pins and needles...
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Sorry, just too many threads to see if you have answered this before. Your profile says Dad has a lung desease. So I will assume he is in his right mind and can OK an Xray. What I would do is call the Hospice Nurse and asked who authorized the Xray. If they say they have no idea, ask the nurse if she could call the Nurse at the AL and ask if someone there authorized it. I say this because Hospice overrides the AL staff. The AL staff should be working thru hospice. If AL feels something isn't quite right then they need to contact Hospice not take it upon themselves.
I know you are overwhelmed by all this but you really need to not take so much on. Dad is safe and being cared for. He gets his meds and is fed. My brother told me once "I was the problem". Not being mean but meaning I am a little OCD. You have to learn to pick your battles. Medicare just doesn't allow an Xray unless there is a good reason. When u talk to Hospice ask them to keep you up on Dads care. A call would not have hurt since everyone should know by now that your are invested with Dad. The nurse could have called and told you an Xray is being done for such and such reason. But remember, if Dad is ok mentally, they don't need your permission because he is capable to give it.
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anonymous262233 May 29, 2018
JoAnn, I am OCD times 100 (smile)! Dad has COPD, dementia and has been legally blind since I was born. For all I know, he was making the whole thing up. Sometimes I think it would be easier if he only had ONE thing going on...

If he could see, he could at least read reminder notes to help with the dementia or plug in his own portable machine.

If he didn't have dementia, maybe he would MAKE SENSE!!! I never know WTH Dad is talking about now. I've made the mistake in the past of thinking he was having an "episode" when he was, in fact trying to tell me something that was going on.

If he could breathe (CURSES TO CIGARETTES), maybe he would be able to get around better or have better cognitive function.

The three issues together are just one big disaster for him and a pending mental breakdown for me...
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A doctor or NP would need  to order an xray.

Call the hospice SW.

Call the office of the AL physician.

I think I might ask the desk at AL to call you if/when the results come in.
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anonymous262233 May 29, 2018
Thanks Barb. I called around today and no one seems to have any clue what's going on. Maybe Dad made it all up. I'm NOT cut out for this. He's not making ANY sense these days...
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Yup, same idea as PamZ. If the Hospice Dr ordered the Xray then they would generally just go ahead and do it, and your Dad is probably listed as the "responsible party", and of course it will all be covered ($$$) by Hospice too, so try not to stress yourself out, and worry too much over the weekend, except for if your Dad is truly sick or something.

My guess is that because your Dad is in a facility with other patients, that they would wish to stay on top of any " communicable diseases" such as Pneumonia, especially if he is showing S&S himself, to get him on treatment ASAP, to prevent the spread, and to aid and assist him of any untoward treatable distress.

I hope everything works out OK!
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Tinyblu, my question, does the Assisted Living have an x-ray machine that they can bring to your Dad's room?  Anywho, as Pam mentioned, such x-rays are simple.  Even a patient can be laying down for such an x-ray if bedridden.  I've seen these portable x-rays at the hospital where I do volunteer work.  They are pretty expensive machines.
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Dear Tinyblu,

I hear your concern. I wonder if like pamzimmrrt suggested it could have been due to concern for pneumonia or another lung infection.

I hear you, it is a struggle to get a straight answer. But good for you for always preserving and doing all you can for your dad.

Generally doctors and nurses order the tests they feel are needed without seeking permission first.

I hope you can get the answers you are looking for after the long weekend.
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Tiny if it makes you feel any better, Xrays are not invasive at all,, just a picture taking session,, he probably did have to take his shirt off, but there is no pain, punctures or anything like that. If your dad was short of breath just putting his shirt on, maybe they are looking for pneumonia or something? GOod luck!
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