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My husband is in a care facility for Alz/dementia. He knows me when I visit and he immediately says "I want to go home". Or "I want to be with you." BUT 30 seconds after making that statement he looks at me and says "What does your husband do.?" Or ?Where do you live?"


After the first statement I thought My God he has returning to more normal but of course the question a few seconds later....??
My question is:

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People with dementia often say things that are inconsistent, don't make sense or that are confusing. Sometimes, they seem better, but then they don't. I try not to get my expectations high. I just try to not expect anything and see how it goes. If I get a smile and and I love you, I'm happy and that always seems to happen, so far. I know that it won't always be that way as my loved one progresses.
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The human ego wants to hide weakness. If he asks bland questions like that, he hopes you won't realize how confused he is. I think you should believe that he recognizes you as someone very dear and important to him. Try not to take it to heart that so many details have been forgotten. He still loves you as much as he is able.
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This is very typical. My mom is in a Alz unit at a nursing home. She knows I'm someone familiar but doesn't know I'm her daughter. She will ask me things like "how's your mom doing?" or "where does your mom live?" If I then answer "you are my mom!" she just looks at me confused. I think many dementia patients will say things like that to everyone.
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Unfortunately it is typical...
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Weeone, another possibility is that your husband is saying this to everyone who comes into the room.

I remember my Mom would say my name whenever I visited which made me feel good, but once when out of the room I was within hearing distance, Mom also called the Nurse by my name :(
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That is puzzling behavior, isn't it? So much of dementia behavior is really hard to understand.

Who knows? He may have a flicker of recognition when you first come in. Or he may say those things to anyone who seems friendly. A damaged brain does unpredictable things!

I am so sorry that you are having this heartbreaking experience. May your good memories of who he is get you through this.
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Weeone, perhaps he knows you as someone familiar, even someone he loves, but he doesn't really know that you are his wife. My mom lives with me, calls me by name, asks the caregivers where I am, but I can tell that on her bad days she doesn't really know I am her daughter.
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