Today and yesterday were rough, some what emotionally hard days for me. Thinking of my deceased mother and how much I want to see her again. As well as rethinking and going over in my mind everything that happened to her, and thinking about my entire life with her and trying to understand her death. The overwhelming feeling is how sorry I am that she suffered, her death, all the things I went through in dealing with it, etc. How I wish she was still here and realizing she is gone. Just trying to understand her passing and all the things that happened.