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My 75-year-old (widowed) mother’s memory is slipping and has for several years. During last week’s visit, I sat her down and told her she needs to be physically tested and to bring it up to her Doctor. The problem is that my Mother is a compulsive liar with a big ego, and doesn’t want to appear ‘old’ to the world. In fact, she spends a minimum of 2 hours each morning putting on makeup/wig/clothes so that she can go out in the world and ‘look’ like she has her life together. I live in another state and trying to figure out how I can confirm if she is REALLY bringing up the memory lapse issue to her doctor ---- any suggestions. My mother keeps telling me that the doctors look at her chart and actually bring in other nurses/doctors to ‘guess her age’, as they can’t believe she is 75 and thinks she visually looks 60. (this is one of the many absurd stories my Mother tells her family after each doctor/dentist visit) I fear her vanity ‘ego’ will prevent her from addressing her memory lapse issue.

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I'm assuming you aren't able to go with mom to her doctor. Send the doctor a note letting him know about your observations.(Call and get the fax number). He can't tell you about her condition without her giving permission but he can read your note and take it under advisement. And strangely when a doctor calls you back about a troubling patient, they seem to forget that rule. About calling in others to admire her, my parents got that often. They were the cutest couple. Everyone always wanted to know how long they had been married, etc. With my aunt, they keep sending in other men to see what she will say next as she makes a pass at every man that walks into the waiting or exam room. So your mom probably does get a lot of attention with the grooming you described. It's fun for her and better than listening to someone complain for them. Just ask the doctor to test her cognitively when she comes in. He can say that he does it with all his patients who have just turned 60.
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Are there any family members who live close to your mother and could go with her? Nobody wants to hear bad news about memory so avoidence happens a lot. I was able to go with my mother. She wasn't to happy that I mentioned my concerns to her doctor, but he helped by easing things and we got some answers. Granted they weren't the answers I wanted, but none the less it was answer's.
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Are there any family members who live closeby
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