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She will walk as far as being in front of it and looking at it but will not turn around and sit. We usually stand there and hug and then I kind of dance with her and turn her around . This can take at least five minutes or more. Once she is turned around and has one hand on the safety rail on the wall and one on the toilet hand rail she sits down very nicely and she is ok.
This is has been going on for almost a year. I have removed a little basket from the back of the toilet that I had all her toiletries in thinking that might be scaring her but that didn't help. She doesn't do it all the time, but most of the time.Thanks for any suggestions.

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KathyR, you mention that she stops in the same place. Is there a change in the flooring material at that spot? Mom has trouble recognizing changes in flooring and her feet freeze and she does a little side to side shuffle thing with her feet. Can't do anything about the change from carpet to tile, but I do say "left, right, left, right" and that seems to get her going again.

As far as the sitting on the toilet goes, I think you've probably got the best plan for now. Like you say, it might be different tomorrow.
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Sometimes you have to just keep trying different things. I recall when my cousin forgot how to clean after a bowel movement. She didn't know what to do or even to flush the toilet. Later, she became incontinent. That involves another set of issues.

Now, it is sometimes difficult when they get her in and out of the facility's transport van when at the doctor's office. The aid will stand behind her and say this arm up, this foot up, etc. to gently guide her into the van, but sometimes she just can't make her limbs work right. She may sit down in the floor or just turn around the wrong way. She gets so frustrated that she can't just sit in the seat. She may start to cry or say she is sorry. It's so sad.

I noticed that she did worse when I was standing there watching. When I walked away she did better. Is there anyone who can try the bathroom trip in your place and see if she is any better? I know, that may not be an option. Still, it's amazing how my presence must have made my cousin more excited. I don't see her every day, so maybe that is why.

Good luck and let us know how things are going. It's such a challenge. It's no fun taking care of a toilet chair. I admire you.
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Thanks everyone for your suggestions. We do have a handicap toilet and we have a grab bar on the wall and and grab bars at the toilet itself. And we do something like Sunnygirl does but we count, One, Two, One, Two when we walk to the bathroom toilet, but she seems to stop in the same place. I do have a light beige cover on the back of the lid so when I get Mom changed she doesn't have to lean on the cold back of the lid. Maybe today I will take that off and see what happens. I can always put it back on once she is seated. We shall see. Everyday is a challenge. What works one day may not work the next. I wish you all well.
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Our commode was in kitchen behind a screen I meant.
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I too experienced these kinds of things with my mom. I had great success when I would, for example, sit on toilet myself first. I would talk her thru one step at a time and I would touch her arm or leg to indicate which one I wanted her to move., I would touch left arm and say I want this arm to go here and I would touch the grab bar. Saying we are going to bathroom, hold onto grab bar then sit down was way too many instructions for her to handle at one time. Don't say too many extra words. This arm on this bar. You might also try putting a commode over the toilet is she still has strength and you have room. You can walk right over to it and if high enough she could just probably hold the handle, turn, then sit. When mom was in wheelchair, we had a commode in bathroom behind a screen because the powder room was too small. Had a bar on one wall, roll right up to bar, scooped an arm under her arm pit, told her to reach for the bar, pull pants down then pivoted to pitty. Get creative, do what works, sometimes your dancing may be what works best. Be consistent, everyone should be doing it the same way. Good luck.
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What we have for Mom is a grab bar on the wall and a potty chair. We roll Mom up to the bar and then she grabs on, stands up and we move the wheelchair and then put the potty chair behind her so she can sit down. Mom is unable to pivot to even use a handicapped accessible bathroom at a store. Hope this helps.
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I've experienced similar issues with my cousin. I've been told that it's the signals in the brain are not firing correctly and that's why they are not able to follow through with their actions. A part may also be that she's afraid of falling as she sits down. Sometimes a booster toilet seat that is high up means they don't have to sit down as low. That might help too if it's a height issue.

My cousin can get in and out of her wheelchair, but it's very slow going. We must say move this foot and tap on that foot. Right or left have no meaning. We then wait, then repeat. This goes on for some time. I'm not sure of any way to get around it. Their brain is not cooperating with them. For a person with
dementia, I don't think 5 minutes is unreasonably long to get them into the bathroom.

I have demonstrated what I want my cousin to do, but even then she usually has trouble. Like, putting on gloves. She can't do that anymore, so we don't try. Now she is incontinent, but the facility will place her on the toilet at regular times just in case, she wants to go.
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