Follow
Share

She is a retired nurse now with mild dementia. She is slowly making enemies of the nursing and support staff. She sees everything... sometimes accurately, but more often a warped version of situations that she creates from assumptions she has made regarding the care being given to other patients. I am confident with the care she is receiving, but I am worried that she will eventually put herself on the hit list of all the NH staff. Has anyone else had this problem. The best medical personnel can make the most difficult patients!

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Thank everyone for the words of support and great suggestions! Your responses are greatly appreciated.
I spoke with the DON and she immediately told me not too worry and that my mom is not the first nurse they have taken care of and that if I had any concerns about my mom or any of the care team members to come talk with her.
Thanks again for all your words of wisdom.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Being a R.N. & also a care giver for my husband with solvent dementia, I can tell you from experience that the staff has dealt with this before. I believe you have some great responses here. I don't see drugs as the answer, personally.
I am sure that your mom is already on some meds.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

A little more Zoloft might help. Get rid of the anger.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

As a retired nurse when I see problems l really have a hard time keeping my mouth shut. Most of the things I observe are related to infection control protocols. When I see someone following proper protocol I try and compliment them. If something is really dangerous I do speak up especially if is the wrong medication when I know certain things should not be given together. I will just ask if it should be given at the same time because I was told to take it two hours later. the nurse will check and no ones feelings are hurt Because this lady has dementia the staff should be able to just take it in stride and assure her they will check up and make sure the orders are correct and gently tell her they are not allowed to discuss other patient's treatment with her and redirect. She can't help it once a nurse always a nurse.
Case in point here as a former nurse I can't help giving my opinion and correcting others when I feel they are wrong
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

She's bored. She probably worked for her whole life & as a nurse provided a certain level of care to her patients. Health care--especially in long term care facilities--has declined in the past 20 or so years & she probably isn't far off in her assessment of the care. I'm sure the staff knows she is a retired nurse & they know how to deal with her. Sometimes nursing staff just has to deal with their "ex-nurse" patients & brush off their criticisms. Your mother is probably just so used to doing something & being a nurse that it is hard to break that habit. I wouldn't worry about it.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Can your mom still write? I would give her a yellow pad on a clip board. Ask her to write down what she sees and promise her that you'll pass it on to the DON weekly. Make friends with the DON and explain that you're doing this; Help you mom feel useful.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Being a nurse, I can attest to being a stickler for details when it comes to care of my husband, and when I see problems with care being given my husband I point them out. I've removed him AMA twice from one hospital because they want to keep him for extensive testing when nothing seriously has been wrong with his heart, but given his age, they just want to do more and more. For God's sake, he has dementia and has a terminal disease. No amount of testing is going to keep him alive. Let your mother continue to be who she is for it gives her purpose and eventually she will lose the ability to remember what she learned in nursing school. Time solves a lot...
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Well, first of all, my reaction is that the nursing home has seen her "type" many times before. If it were me, I think I'd make a point of gently letting the nurse manager know what you've said here: "OMG! Mom was such a great nurse. Why am I not surprised she's a difficult patient?! If she's causing any problems for staff, I hope you'll let me know what you think I might be able to do to alleviate them." *wink*wink*nudge*nudge*

See, I doubt you can change her behavior. But you might be able to ameliorate her behavior's effects.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.