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She is in an assisted living facility but I do her laundry. She keeps herself very clean but clearly she has issues because there are panties washed out and drying in the bathroom all the time and sometimes she doesn't make it to the bathroom in time for bowel movements either and that is a whole other problem. She denies any problem.

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One solution is removing all her underpants and replacing them with pullups.

Another is having her doctor talk to her about the problem; my mother very good at following doctor's orders, and hers made it clear that she was to use protective garments so as to prevent utis or somesuch.
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My mother has the same problem, but only with peeing. She washes out her pajamas a lot -- she wears pajamas all day. I've tried to get her to wear protective undergarments, but the only success I've had was to get her to wear a pad when we go out. I felt glad to accomplish that, since she didn't want to think there was a problem. I understand how she felt. It is embarrassing, I'm sure.
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