How to treat someone in the early stages of dementia with respect?

Thank you Jeannegibbs for your kind words and insight. I like your idea about day trips and the electronic scrapbooking. We will try that out.

You are lucky, Mary, that your husband will participate in these things with you. My husband won't do anything but sit in front of the TV and eat caramels...and he is diabetic. He won't go to any of the "senior centers" here where there are activities, etc., many which are free. He has always been "fussy" about his friends, picking and choosing very selectively. Consequently, I have been isolated from my entire family and friends because he doesn't like them. I wish I had left years ago when I had a job and could make it alone. Now I can't even buy an interview, let alone find a job because I had to quit my job because he wanted to move back to Florida. I hate it here and I am beginning to hate him. Sad, but true. I just want to run away and never, ever look back. Count your blessings. You are very fortunate.

Dear Scared my husband is diabetic and watches tv all day when he's not sleeping and has an obsession with food. There have been times when he's acted a lot like your husband and when I couldn't take it any more I had a talk with him that seemed to get through to him because he's behaved much better ever since. I told him I didn't mind taking care of him but I would not be treated like a dog by him and if he continued to act this way I would put him in a home with attendants that were paid minimum wage and could care less what his needs were because really that's all we could afford. I meant it because I don't think anyone should have to live under the circumstances you describe. So I can relate to how you feel. It helps me to volunteer in my community because it gets me away for a few hours and keeps me in contact with other people. In your case it could even lead to a job possibly. I hope you will check this out because you deserve to be happy too.

Everyone needs to MOVE every day, not sit around. Terrible habit. You don't need money to learn to do yoga, healthy exercise, take walks, do yard work or gardening. It is a HABIT that needs to be started. "An object in motion remains in motion." Right? Eventually, the activity changes the brain chemistry, which will help attitudes. Sometimes you don't "feel like it." Too bad. If there is a fire in the house, you think those guys are going to continue to sit there? Lol! xo

I agree...just can't find the motivation.

I agree ChristinaW you have to make it a priority in your life to get up and move in whatever way you like best. It gets easier each time you make yourself do it. Before long you will look forward to it.

That's right, Mary. It is very difficult when depression or discouragement sets in. BUT: we must talk to ourselves, or listen to the small voice that wants our attention. Maybe laughter motivates better?
Put post it notes throughout the house that read 'SMILE', 'BREATHE', 'MOVE',
I don't care how miserable things are, there is always something to laugh at--even if it is oneself:))) Watch Pink Panther movies, Jack Nicholson, Bill Murray! OMG!!!

Phrase it in the form of a question. If you put these here would that work? If its a question and you include you in the question, men take it better.

marys....you are far braver than I am. My husband is in complete denial that he has dementia (Lewy Body disease variety). He thinks he can take care of himself. Yet he does nothing for himself because I'm here and I'll do it because that's my job...I"m just a woman and a wife and that's what we're for.

I don't know enough to give specific advice; but i have read enough that I believe legal advice is imperative for couples to protect their money when one spouse may need intensive care. I care for my mother's finances and am so glad that her nursing home steered me toward an attorney.

My husband w dementia is very gradually going downhill. He doesn't know what he has. Why say it just makes them feel bad. I've learned not to comment or correct. Saves him getting aggravated & causes no arguments. Change the subject or redirect. Our daughter said pretend your dealing w a 6 yr old. He lately doesn't know we are married. (59 yrs) Forgets names & seems to not understand what grandkids are linked to. I sometimes explain it as the wire in your brain is loosing its connection & because I'm younger mine is still connected so just ask me anything you want to know. My trust in Gods promise to always be with me is a great help.