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He mows the yard, but he adds oil to often and gets upset if I even mention it. He will take something apart and not remember what he did with the parts, I will look but we have had to replace things. He gets very upset when I ask him to let me do things or at least check it out. Just looking for some idea how you have handled this. Thank you

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It's tough. You do want them to do as much as they can. But often they think they can do more than in reality they can. First priority is safety. If it isn't likely to harm him or anybody else, let him do it. Next comes cost. Throwing out a few small items and replacing them is just part of the cost of dementia. But you may need to prevent him from messing up more costly things.

My husband understood that he had Lewy Body Dementia, and that made it somewhat easier for me. I could say, "I know that you can carry a dinner tray. You've been doing it for years with no problem. But today mean ol' Lewy seems to be very active, so I think I'll just carry it this time."

I also called upon his "retirement" often. "Yup. You are excellent at snow removal. And I know you love to do it. But you are now retired from that activity, on doctor's orders, so let's let a neighborhood kid earn some cash doing it this time."

I also like freqflyer's suggestions about things to do. It became my husband's job to fold the handtowels. He could see that it wasn't just busywork -- we used the towels. He also matched up socks from the laundry.

It is hard. Good luck to you both!
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shsh151, some men like to feel handy around the house.... find things that you know he can deal with, even if it is things you normally do....

Something as easy as helping you carry the laundry basket from and from the washer/dryer.... getting the newspaper in the morning.... taking out the recycling... putting dishes in the dishwasher, even if you have to go back to rearrange them :P.... pretend to struggle with a screwdriver and ask for his help.

Pick your battles... ask yourself if something he did really worth a blow up. Half the time it's not.
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I stay in the kitchen and bake something he likes. I don't mention screw ups, I just redirect him to comfort food. He is becoming more territorial about his stuff, his tools, his cars and anything "his".
I chuckle knowing that if I die tomorrow, he will starve to death wearing dirty underwear and smelly socks. He doesn't even know how to pay bills. LOL
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