My father was hospitalized last September for septic shock -- the result of a UTI not being diagnosed by his physician. During the course of that hospital stay, he was also diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. Because the septic shock, he was extremely weak and unable to walk when he left the hospital, he was moved to a rehab facility, and ultimately to a nursing home. We finally received a referral to a neurologist in January, and he received medicine for Parkinson's. By April, he was able to take up to 20 steps with a walker and assist with transfers to and from his wheelchair. In May, my mother decided that she wanted to move him home and hire an aid to come in twice a day to help him. As a trial, when I was visiting in June, we had he come home for a day, and it became clear that my mother wasn't going to be able to care for him in that home. So we did some searching, and we found an independent living facility that seemed to be perfect for them. There was an independent health care agency onsite with an a la carte menu, so they'd only have to pay for what they really needed, and they had the flexibility of increasing or decreasing care at any time. The community has several people with advanced Alzheimers and Parkinson's, so we believed it would work. So they moved in about a week ago, and it's been a rough transition. Apparently, there's a huge disconnect between the level care that my mother thought he needed and was receiving at the nursing home, and what he actually needs. For instance, she thought he occasionally had 'accidents' in his underwear. The reality is that he's passing loose stools three times a day and requires someone to clean him up. He's also extremely stubborn, and several times he's refused to assist in the wheelchair transfers, so they're forced to bring in a second aid, which they're not really set up to do. The initial estimate was that he was going to require about an hour and a half of care of day. In reality, he's receiving 4-5 hours of care a day. Plus, my mother is being forced to do everything from pushing his wheelchair (because he refuses to even try to move on his own), to washing his face (because he doesn't want to do it). We had also hoped that they would have some social interaction by being there. But she told me today that there are a lot of people who don't want to sit with them because he drools and his nose runs sometimes when he eats. At this point, I'm beginning to think that we made a mistake by moving them there, and I'm trying to decide what the next move is going to be. I'm afraid that if we move him back to a nursing home, he's going to become depressed and won't last long. But I also know that if they move back into their house (which isn't really wheelchair accessible), he's going to require care 10 hours a day because my mother isn't able or willing to do much. She's already talking about how tired she is now. I'm 1000 miles away, so there's not much I can do in terms of helping her. And when I've offered suggestions to her, like asking the aids if they could use a hoyer lift if she provided it, she won' even entertain the idea because she doesn't want him to become dependent on it.