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Last August, I entered into an irrevocable burial contract for my parents with a private cemetery in which they had already bought graves. With my father's death in January, my mother decided he (and herself) be buried in a VA cemetery. The contract now is no longer needed; the cemetery is not responding to my requests to transfer the contract to the funeral home handling the burials. Any suggestions?

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wow, well, really, in my parents case, they just transferred from one set of plots to another and made the people that wanted theirs pay any associated costs.
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I live in NJ. When my cousin tried to sell his parents the cemetary wanted $300 for each of the 4 plots to transfer the deeds. He sold then for the transfer fees. My Uncle paid $800 for the 4 plots years ago.
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ok, just thought that might be an option - was it here somebody talked about inheritance loans? will go back and check
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Yes I can, debdaughter. But that's an issue for the future. I may deed the plots to another family member.
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Can you sell their plots? that's what my parents ended up doing; something about somebody else died unexpectedly and they wanted to be buried right where their was, since I think they were close to where somebody was buried they wanted to be buried close to and they already had their marker there as well, so moving it was made a condition of the sale as well
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I'm well aware what irrevocable means; I would have not signed this agreement otherwise. At the time, my parents had bought their plots beforehand, so I believed it a wise move. I still do. If I should pass, their needs would be guaranteed. But there is no provision for transference, therefore, by legal advice, the option is open. Remember, laws vary by state, so some advice may not be applied here.
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My MIL and FIL are buried together at Finns Point National cemetary in NJ. Not everyone knows that not all VA cemetaries are the same. Thats why I mentioned it.
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Thanx JoAnn29. VA national cemeteries allow spouse to be buried with veteran. They share the same grave; on the marker, the spouse's inscription is on the reverse of the vet's.
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You also better check to see if ur Mom can be buried with ur Dad. If she is a Vet no problem but National cemetaries only allow wives and both mustbe cremated. County VA cemetaries only allow the Vet, no spouses.
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I made arrangements for two irrevocable burial trusts for my parents. They already had a family plot so the cost was for the funeral home and any fees the cemetery would require to open the graves,. My dad passed away in 2011 in Mass. Where they lived. Everything was handled by the funeral director. I was very happy. In 2012 I moved my mom to Ca. And inquired about transferring to a funeral home in Ca. I knew I would have to purchase a new grave for my mom. I also needed to find a funeral home that would accept the terms of the trust. After making some changes concerning things we no longer wanted to do. Viewing, family car they accepted the transfer from the other funeral home. In Mass. Any money paid for a prepaid funeral goes into a trust so only when the funeral home makes the request with proof they did the services will it be paid out. I hear from the trust every year with a small amount of interest on the $ amount I paid along with notification of a small fee they charge to manage the trust. Not all states do this but a few year ago Mass. Had a number of places close and take the money with them. I hope this helps. The added expense for the new cometary was high but still less expensive than having my mom brought back to Mass. I would have done it but my mom requested to be buried where she now considers home. Read the contact and see if it is in a trust or was private pay to the funeral home or in your case Cemetary. I do not know if the Cemetary has to return the money if the plots were purchased separate from the Irrevocable Burial Trust.
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Lol. Usually keep the name. ( auto correct got me).
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Also you might be able to sell or transfer the contract along with the lots. Good advice to read it carefully. No disrespect intended but Are you sure it's privately owned and not part of a large outfit like Service Corp. International? ( they fever skit keep the name that the community trusts). Are you sure you are dealing with the decision maker? The person who sold you the contract might not have the authority to honor your request. What have others done with your funeral home who are in this same situation? You might ask. They might have the right not to return the funds but what would they be willing to do? Be very reasonable. If they are truly private they have the ability to do what makes good business sense in the community. National Cemeteries are beautiful and well tended. Regardless of how this turns out your parents made a good choice.
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Contact them via certified mail.
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WAIT ! don't give up hope based on possible misinformation, Although well intentioned I'm sure. There are two kinds of prepaid funeral contracts: revocable and irrevocable. Revocable means you may cancel the contract and get most of your money back. Irrevocable means you cannot cancel the contract, but you may transfer it to another funeral home if you want to.
ctlawhelp/prepaid-funeral-contracts-burial-plots#
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Irrevocable means you cannot change the terms of the contract. Burial is free for the veteran and spouse at a National VA cemetery. Don't ever make that mistake again. I can see why they are not responding to you.
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Because it is irrevocable, they may not have to agree to a transfer. Read the contract very carefully. Show the contract to a lawyer.
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