I am new to caregiving since my dad's wife died last summer. It's been very full on! It's affected my new marriage as I've spent half the year away from my husband (we live in a different state than my dad). It's affected my work as I have had to take months off and can't concentrate on it when there has been so much work to do for my dad, who has dementia and probable Alzheimer's. I have kept him in his home, employing various caregivers, finding housemates, managing his house and finances and health care from afar when I'm not there. I am only 40 and utterly exhausted. I have become filled with despair as I realize it's either this life or terrible grief once I lose my dad, my only parent. Husband gives me a hard time and insists I'm being foolish keeping him in his house instead of putting him in AL. My dad tells me it will kill him if he has to leave his house. Dad has several adult kids in another country who have made my life hell, despite having been mostly out of the picture for the last few decades. All of a sudden they are whipping around him like a medusa and critizing everything about his home and care, down to the type of cheese his caregivers should buy him. Not to mention they have acted in criminal ways in a supposed effort to "rescue" him, such as trying to remove all his funds from his bank, threatening to abduct him, calling APS, trying to get him to change his POA papers (I am currently POA for H + F), etc. I have reached seriously new levels of despair in the last few months, made worse by his untrustworthy long-lost family and my husband's unhappiness. I have just been trying to do what's best for my dad and in the process am giving up a lot. Now the big question I face is whether to hire FT caregiver in home, or move him to AL. He tells me it will kill him to move, could I live with myself if he just went downhill upon moving? Alternatively, it's killing my vitality and draining me to keep him in his house. Would love to hear some thoughts.