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I am the power of attorney for my mom who has dementia. I feel something ugly is going to happen since she is not eating, running away from the aide and being abusive with the aide.



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Yes my mom was in the nursing home but returned home with a 24 hr aide as for my brother he made things so bad that my poor mom is now in a hospital because they were going to call elder abuse that's how bad things got so I left work and picked her up and took her to the hospital which is going to help me place her back in a nursing home since there's no way she can be in her apartment with an aide and my brothers interfering doesn't help. There aware at the hospital that I am both her power of attorney and health care proxy so they will no longer allow my brother to interfere with her care. Unfortunately since he lived closer to her he would go there and interfere with everything which in turn did not help mom at all.
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Are you going to an Eldercare Care lawyer to get a Cease and Desist letter? Is brother's behavior agitating your Mom? Does he threaten you or her, does he steal her Meds? Or is it that he bullies you and has always gotten compliance before?

Have you tried stating that your job is to act in mom's best interest, and that if he thinks he can do it better, he can meet you in court where he can sue for guardianship so that mom is His job?

In other words, is he all bluster, or are you and mom afraid of him? Is that why she made you POA, because she needed YOU to stand up for her?
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Sunshine does your brother live in the same home as your mother, but perhaps you don't live there? It isn't clear how come your brother is able to interfere so dangerously in your mother's care.
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Jeanne, Sunny posted on another thread that her mom was fine in a NH but 'at the insistence of family" brought her home. And now she's agitated and hitting the caregiver.
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Um ... your profile says your mom is in a nursing home. Is that true? If so, how on earth is your brother able to get rid of her medications? How is he able to interfere at all? In a nursing home a nurse brings the pills and stands there and watches while the resident swallows them. So I am very confused about the medications.

Your mother is not cooperating with the NH caregiver? They are used to that, but it is a good reason to have mom evaluated by a psychiatrist, who could perhaps prescribe something for her agitation.

What authority does your brother have? Is he medical POA?

There must be some pieces missing from this story. Can you expand on it a bit?
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Develop a condition that requires you to take two weeks off from caregiving. Insist that your brother move in to care for her. ( if he can insist on things, so can you).

Let him do the caregiving if he knows so much.
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Thank you all for your help I've unfortunately come to the conclusion that I am going to have to contact an elderly lawyer since there is absolutely no getting through to my brother his interference is beyond and evens gone to the extreme of getting rid of her meds it's really out of control, he is completely in denial with moms condition and feels she needs nutrition and not meds
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Your mom made YOU poa. If you ned to, take brother to the doctor's appointment so it can be explained to him why she needs meds.
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She needs to go see the psych. She needs the help, not your brother. He is going to have to get a grip. She deserves the best care she can get. If she is showing signs of dementia, depression, anxiety or something else, the psych would be better at getting a handle on the problem in the future as to how to deal with it. Do what you have to do to get her the best of care.
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Who dragged your brother into this? Take your mother to a specialist psychiatrist and get help for her now. That is your responsibility, which she gave you and you accepted, when she gave you POA.
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