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My mother is 96. She has lived with us for 7 years.  She goes to Adult Day care everyday.I have to wake her a 7 AM. Is this too much? She has dementia and is often confused when I wake her. I just don't want to appear to be cruel or harsh getting her up and dressed so early. She does well at the day care. She has sundowners most afternoons; could this be because she is tired from the day? Sure don't want to make things any worse ; she can be very difficult. Please voice opinions; I really enjoy having the day free.
Thanks,
Carol

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One of the great things about retirement, and old age is the fact that you can go to bed when you want and rise when you want. Soon, an elderly person finds themselves on a "schedule"....they get sleepy at the same time everynight, and they wake up about the same time every morning. That said, why in the world would you want to force your mother out of bed at 7:00 a.m. (ungodly), and take her to adult day care? Somebody is being selfish, and it ain't her.
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It's hard from a distance to assess whether the benefits of your mom going to daycare outweigh the time it takes to get her up and dressed. But it does sound like she is getting a lot from getting out of the house and being around others. And you get a much needed break - especially since you have been doing this for 7 years.
Sundowners might be a separate issue. For mom it starts when the sun goes down and continues into the evening. The lack of light seems to trigger it.
If your mom is sleeping well, I wouldn't worry about her overdoing it during the day. I think it is nice of you to see that she gets this outlet everyday.
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I agree, you need some time to yourself. She will be fine. My realitive gets up at like 4 or earlier in the mornings. I wish she could sleep till 7. I think sundowners will effect them no matter what they do during the day.
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I'd say, keep up the adult day care for you and for her. The activity and stimulus level I believe outweighs the early morning confusion as long as it's not super stressful-combativeness.

The sundowning is most likely a separate issue as it's generally agreed in the medical community to be caused by changes in light/sensory input, where our younger eyes adapt quickly from natural light to artifical light, and from ambient background noise to closer-confined household noise (tvs, talking, cooking/cleaning etc) some elders cannot make the shift and it creates confusion and a sense of disconnection to their environment. However, in her case if she's sundowning in the afternoon it could still be a similar situation of change in environment (light, sounds, stimulus) that is hard for her to adapt to.

Hang in there, you sound like a dear to be concerned that it might be too much for her in the mornings but make sure you are asking yourself if it would be too much for you to not have that time.
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Early morning confusion with dementia is often the norm. As long as she is participating in the activities then keeping her going is worth the AM chaos- it's a win win for both of you! Sundowning occurs regardless of day time activities. Turn on all the lights when she gets home and keep it bright- over time that should reduce the sundowning. Also after the day center try to keep her active before dinner- hope this helps.
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My 96 year old mom is in middle stages of AD . She is high functioning in daily living skills , has the energy, mobility and appearance of a 60 year old. Our real concern right now is that when she gets up from sleep either in the Am or after a nap, she is extremely confused. She cries bitterly that she doesn;t know where she is ( her home in Canada or in Florida) and says that she " cannot live like this". After 30- 60 minutes she is back to herself with no memory of this anxiety. It is so distressful to us, her children, to see her so upset. Has anyone had this experience? She takes 75 mg. of effixor in the morning and 15 mg of exelon patch. Thank you! Sharon
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My 93-year old mom is afflicted with mid-stage Alzheimer's. She sleeps 12 or more hours every night and rarely awakens before 9 a.m. We let her sleep as late as she likes. When she does eventually arise, she needs time to gather herself. To avoid agitation and confusion we allow plenty of time for her to shower, dress and eat breakfast. As a result, I do not schedule any medical appointments or formal activities such as day care until after lunch. This scheduling has been working well for us. I just can't hustle her out the house in the morning to meet someone else's schedule.But every case is different. Each caregiver has to determine what works best for their patient.
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I'm 71 female and have had a slight stroke 18months ago. In the morning upon
arising I can't get it together, I stroll around the house and can't decide what to do first. and losing things like cell phone and coffee cup etc. I think I'm getting
alzeimers or dementia Also my driving is affected in the morning WOLLY1
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Wolly, have you been to your primary care doctor and voiced your concerns? Do you have anyone else like siblings or children who are concerned about your welfare?
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Each situation is different. My mother has always been a morning person and in general getting her up at 7:00 am works for her, but when she doesn't want to get up we let her stay in bed until we see that she is ready. But things change. Now she only goes to daycare 4 days a week with Thursdays and weekends off. We do have to stay to something of a schedule because of the HHA help that has set hours.
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