Tom passed, now caring for a new lady. She is uncomfortable telling me about her incontinence and other health issues. Any help?

When my incontinence started mid50's would try to hide it from 9yr younger wife.Then finally the dreaded talk came after some reasoning and ego problems we went with diapers and protecting on the bed.This was still not easy for me but can change myself.

Maybe if you are thinking there might be a certain issue going on, you could share how you have felt in the past (making it up, most likely). "One time I had this pain in my X. It really hurt. Does that ever happen to you?"

I suppose all you can do is to explain to her that if she can’t speak to you then you can’t help her like you desire to.

I was speaking to mom’s hospice caregiver yesterday about the same thing that you are dealing with.

I am blessed because mom is able to articulate her feelings to her caregivers, some patients aren’t able to speak and the caregiver said that they look for cues such as expressions on their faces and other body language.

I think in time you may be able to recognize certain things. Spending time with your patient will give you the experience needed.

You could also reassure them that you are there to help and they can feel free to discuss all matters with you.

Are there any other people in this person’s life that you can contact for information regarding their issues?