I diagnosed his dementia one day 3 years ago (he asked me what day it was 4 times in an hour. It was almost amusing the next week or two as I had no idea what was going on: 'Where are we?' he'd ask in the supermarket. I slowly realiused there was a problem.) With hindsight, the problem had manifested some years before, unnoticed, e.g. not paying a telephone bill, sleeping a lot, not paying bills (I had no idea), only going out to 'trusted' places. I told his family, sons and sisters, but they don't see what I saw. They assured me they would check things out, so to speak. What happened was he was able to appear 'normal' for their visits, apart from the filthy house which they severly castigated him for. Two strikes there. In my current role, I treat him as OK and 'getting there' after his 'hiccup' as he discribes it. I try and be positive but don't know whether I am making it worse. I am in two minds: 1.) Tell his family to buck up and DO something OR let 'nature' run its course (none of my business). He is 70 and looks and acts like someone well in his 80s; this is a man I had a relationship when he was 63 and already ageing badly but with a wonderful mind. He still has that mind, but it is fading fast. Does it matter? I feel it is not my responsibility BUT I also feel that if we were such good friends, I should be actively fighting to save his sanity.