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This morning, I got a call from the Hospice Weekend Nurse saying how they’ve had a difficult night with her all last night. Pulling at her Foley, etc. She has a Foley due to urinary retention. She had a fall in the dining room earlier and had a skin tear on her arm. I left my phone and went to take a shower. While I was in the shower, I got another call. She had another fall in her room, hit her head big gash on her head. Was too combative for them to assess so they called an ambulance. Went to ER and she was fast asleep because the morphine and Ativan she had with breakfast had finally kicked in. The hospice nurse and the facility were both telling me she just needs to go to inpatient psychiatric. I told the ER this. They told me with her medical needs no place like that will take her.
but they noticed the urine in her Foley bag looked nasty so they took a sample or they’re trying to at least get more to collect in the bag for a sample. Trust me, a UTI is not the entire cause of her craziness. There’s just too long of a history. but the hospice nurse joined me at the ER and spoke to the staff and was kind of being a go-between with the nursing home also. Right now the plan is a new med called ABH cream, which is Ativan Benadryl and Haldol. We’re gonna treat the UTI if there is one, we’re gonna add back her Halcyon sleep medication. But for now for this weekend, it looks like she’s going back to the nursing home. She is on self-pay right now doing a Medicaid spend down. I can’t just pull a Caregiver out of a hat on a weekend. And to be Medicaid compliant, they have to be a real agency or it has to be someone that there is already a Caregiver agreement in existence with. The one I paid at the nursing home a couple of weeks ago was a word-of-mouth person and I just paid her 300 and something dollars of my own cash. I have been reluctant to dip into her funds to pay private sitters because I’ve been trying to just make sure I have funds to pay for a bed. I have enough money to pay for roughly 4 or five months easily if I’m not paying a sitter. I’ve had to delay my appointment with the elder attorney the other day because it looked like mother was about to die anyway. It is tentatively rescheduled for the 29th. But if I can talk to their office, maybe they can advise me on if I should go ahead and start paying sitters. It’s gonna go really fast at $18-$30 per hour. Also, adding that another thing that will be implemented today is a different very low to the ground bed. Plus the mats next to the bed. I also told the hospice nurse for now just don’t have her go to the dining room. That seems to be a dangerous place for her. I was also informed that she had a bowel movement today because I was wondering if she had it in her diaper or in the toilet. Before this she was consonant. They told me that she pulled her pants down and had the BM in the hall. So I feel sorry for the people at the Home. I know they’re sick of her.

True story male resident was medicated didn't really help. He still acted out, even pretending he was a dog with the growling and biting (which he did to a nurse).

Since this was a year ago, hopefully he is "better" or has passed so he isn't in pain anymore.

By the way, he was/is on Hospice.
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Reply to cover9339
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I can't believe that they have never dealt with this type of situation. I agree, she needs more meds and that medication is the ONLY way to prevent her from hurting herself or hurting others. What choice do they have? The other option is to have the catheter removed and let the chips fall were they may. If she won't leave it in unless heavily sedated, but they won't sedate her to keep her from pulling it out and pooping on the floor, what choice do you have? If she hurts herself bad enough, she'll be bedbound soon. She has ridiculous stamina. But I still think they need to find a solution. If you were suddenly unavailable to help in any way, what would they do?
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Reply to ShirleyDot
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Oedgar, (((hugs))). You are such an amazing advocate for your mom!.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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Omg, Oedgar, this is too much! Wow. Hoping the meds can be figured out for your poor mom SOON. It’s what we all would want for ourselves if we became agitated and disoriented.
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Reply to SnoopyLove
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Medication, medication, medications.
I don't know why hospice let it get to this point.
I think that there needs to be SOME hospice in your area that has in-facility hospice. You may need to fire current provider and get them if she cannot be sufficiently sedated.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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cover9339 Jul 19, 2025
Maybe hospice was trying not to medicate her into a stupor.
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I'm so sorry, it seems such a catch 22 with the psychiatric needs yet complex medical needs that neither facility is able to handle the other problem! Surely your mom can't be the first one to present with these issues I hope others with similar experience will be able to guide...

🫂🫂🫂
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Reply to casole
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