Long-time reader, first time poster here....My dad is nearing his 89th birthday. He and my mom moved into AL about a year ago for a variety of reasons with both their health, though until age 87 they were incredibly fortunate and lived very independently. Daddy's cognitive condition is showing decline and my mom (who was once a science teacher and highly rational--not governed by emotion much at all) is asking us to have him tested for dementia. His speech is becoming garbled, his temper is much shorter and he will pop off about things that he once would have let slide. I'm trying to determine how aggressively we need to know exactly what is going on. I'm not sure that it is useful to know at this stage of the game as he doesn't really need to add more medications to his 4 pages worth, though mom thinks they can just give him a pill and it will make him better. He is also becoming more and more incontinent, and has had several UTI's, which I know can cause some cognitive challenges. We are seeing a urologist about that dimension. We are facing a challenge with their long term care insurance, for which having some kind of memory diagnosis might be beneficial to help him assess for a higher level of care, but I am also concerned that going through this and adding a word like dementia will just be emotionally devastating (and concerned that if we get a diagnosis like that that he'll need to be moved to memory care and that could separate him from my mom, which would be dreadful for them both). We are going to have a consultation with a neurologist this week, but you all have a lot of crowd sourced wisdom among you and I thought I'd see what the hive mind thinks. Would you put him through what are likely to be a lot of frustrating and exhausting tests or would you take a more low-intervention approach? Between them, we have 9 doctors appointments in a 3 week period and I work full time. We've got some help with transportation from friends, and that's worked well for the last year, but as their health declines, I'm feeling like I need to be at every appointment to hear with my own ears what is being assessed, and that is really wearing me down. I'm a late in life child, and so I'm nowhere near being able to retire to care for them full time, unfortunately.