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My dad lives with us. He is 86 and has prostate cancer and non hogdkins lymphoma. With that said I'm so tired of him bellowing my name. He can get up if he wanted but other than to go to the bathroom won't. My family helps when they can or when he lets them. He likes to remind me I get paid to care for him. Today he did get up and let his dog out then sat at the table and said he needed help getting up. My daughter offered to help, I was upstairs and he said no get your mom. He can do a lot more than he does but he chooses not to. I know start making him do for himself but he will just lay in bed and yell my name. It's to the point I walk on eggshells around his room so that sometimes he dosnt know I'm home. Some days I just hide out in my room just to watch a movie and have a break. I make his meals then tell him I have errands to run. It's sad that it's come to this but what else can I do. I'm looking into AL but that will take time. He took care of my step mom when she was sick and used to complain to me about her being so needy maybe I should remind him how he felt. He finally put her in AL she passed a few years ago. Anyway I guess I'm just tired. Thanks for letting me vent.

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CarlaCB don't even get me started on his walker... I try not to touch it if I can help it or I use a wipe. And yes if it's important to him he can get moving. He just called me into his room to tell me he cant go to the bathroom he is obsessing about his BM today. Last time he did he tool 3 stool softners. Ugh that was fun... Thanks for posting
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Wow, I hear you, Dupont. I hate hearing my name also and my Mom doesn't even live with me - I stay overnight at her house about once a week. She does the same thing though - she won't tap on my door and ask me to help her with something when I get the chance. Rather, she goes straight to the kitchen or bathroom or wherever she needs something done for her and then yells my name until I jump up and run to help her. I'm planning to tell her next time "Don't yell for me unless you're on the floor and can't get up." It must be even more infuriating when it happens in your own home and you have to hide or make excuses to go out to get away from it. Jeez!!!

I know how tough it is to figure out exactly what they can do for themselves and what they really need help with. And the annoyance and irritation of suspecting that you're being played or taken advantage of but not being able to tell for sure. I was just reflecting earlier today on how slovenly my Mom has become in some of her personal habits (for example, the tray of her walker is always covered with crumbs and spills and used Kleenex, etc. - it would drive me crazy to have to look at it and I'd be reaching for the wet-wipes in 5 seconds) yet she has plenty of get-up-and-go for things she actually wants to do. All her initiative is directed to things that give her pleasure - nothing else. Everything she doesn't care about then becomes someone else's job. Very frustrating! (And I don't get paid for anything I do)
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