My Mother in Law used to have a caregiver come into her home 3 times a week since we were in FL and she was living in MA. My son is her only child, I have been married for 26 years, and she has hated me from the beginning. We went to visit her and found out she actually told the nursing care she only wanted one day a week when we came. There was soil marks and a horrible smell of urine and feces.
Fast forward we ended up having to put her in a nursing home here in FL to be closer to us. My husband works full time as a professor and I also work full time. We have a 17 yr old son that lives at home and attends school and works...the problem is she calls us at least a few times a week and always gets in an argument because “we work too much.” Honestly we are exhausted from trying to entertain her, she cannot leave because she is wheelchair bound and I can’t get her into our truck, she refuses to do any activities, the nurse’s deal with her anger issues on a daily basis and sometimes refuses their care.
We see her once a week, I know that’s not enough but honestly we just dread to go there because she gets so nasty and everything we do is not good enough. My husband and I fight constantly because I am still bitter at the way she treated me for so many years. I was just on the phone with her and it was difficult because she can’t hear and I am always repeating myself, and when I told her I can’t see her because I’m working she made the same comment you are always working! It’s so hard not to get angry but I don’t know what else to do, we have no help from anyone else and it’s just the both of us. Is this our fault because we don’t go enough? I hated putting her in a nursing home but we couldn’t take care of her and after falling down the stairs in her basement we had to make that decision. My husband is getting frustrated and angry and we constantly fight. Any advice would be grateful!!! I hope this makes sense because I am so upset after just talking with her!