Mom's anemia improved but more than likely is again in decline according to her recent lab work earlier this week. This means she will have to maintain or decline in health and this past week she took a turn and has been extremely weak.
I was looking for placement originally only if she didn't have her mental faculties, and then considered it out of frustration because there is no one but myself and I'm tired. Now her primary doctor, who insensitively mentions more than needed that mom is 96, has said she will consider hospice at home. But without a diagnosis other than the anemia, is that sufficient?
Her doctor didn't order labs last April when I noted a change in mom and by my second request in October we found mom was severely anemic. She didn't count on mom agreeing to a transfusion which did happen in ER, and now doc is saying it won't happen again. Meaning what? That mom can't have an iron shot or infusion if needed? Another doctor from the office answer a call after hours and ordered another lab for B12/folate. Mom's pcp didn't address the results showing an elevated b12. The anemia and elevated b12 may point to cancer.
Should I push for further evaluation or maintain this status quo without hospice. Or is the doctor suggesting letting my mom's anemia decline naturally. I think I need to speak with a hospice provider. Sorry for the muddled stream of thought. I'm on the border of a likely flu and another somber outcome.
I have been with mom for the long haul. I think it was sometime earlier this year that a sense of acceptance sank in. Although I've become increasingly tired because of the support system or current lack in our case, we've had good moments. The realizations of times she's not been the mother I needed growing up don't really matter now, so we've come full circle.
Think only of her, and what SHE would want, and be her VOICE now.
This is what I needed to hear. TY for your kind words. RNs are wonderful and straightforward people.
I think it's up to you and your mother whether you choose to have further testing and medical treatments done. How would SHE like to proceed? I know my mother is exhausted from having one issue after another, and tired of hospitalizations and rehabs, etc. She will be 93 in January. Have a heart to heart with mom and that may help clarify the situation a bit better for you. At 96, she may not want any more heroic efforts taken to keep her alive. On the other hand, she may...........who knows, right?
Sending you a big HUG tonight and a prayer that you find peace with whatever decision you arrive at
If your mom has recurring anemia, doesn't that mean that either she's got an internal bleed somewhere, or that her bone marrow isn't making enough red blood cells?
The real question is how much poking are you willing to do to your frail mom to find out what is wrong and to what lengths will you go to "solve" whatever issue is found?
My mom, at 92, started having pleural effusions secondary to CHF; she had dementia and was in a nursing home. After a second draining of fluid from her chest, her pulmonologist sat me down and said "honey, stop poking holes in your mom".
I'm of the school of "let them down easy". The only thing I ever promised my mother was a death without pain, and I got that for her, with hospice.
It sounds as though you are at the end of your rope. Being an exhausted caregiver doesn't lead to good decision making. I'm hoping that you can get some respite, and some clarity.
I would give her an iron supplement that is derived from vegetable sources and see if that helps her feel better.
Our bodies wear out and don't do what they are supposed to do or don't do it as efficiently as it used to, it needs a little help from added nutrients.
Be careful with any iron, it can give nasty headaches.
I use a great natural product that I am happy to give you the name, just send me a message.
If you choose hospice you can give your mom supplements, she just won't be going to the ER or seeking treatment for anything. You can always cancel hospice and seek care if you or she changes your mind.