My mother and I co-care for my 88yr old grandmother with Alzheimers Disease. My mother handles her medical and financial issues and responsibilities, while I am more of the daily caregiver. My grandmother, though not happy about it, has gone along with needing care, not driving etc...her financial responsibilities however are the last thing she is willing to let go of or the control of them. She was the household bill payer and prided herself how she managed her home and finances. She has been unable to manage them for several years and gave them to my mother to handle. However, like I said she can not let go of the control of them. With that said, I am finding it difficult to mediate between the two as we have another "mother daughter" dynamic happening between myself and my mother as well. My grandmother is constantly "firing" my mother from paying her bills and hates that they are paid online, as she doesn't understand the technology. Due to my mother's busy schedule paying online or auto payments are the most convenient options for her. Once a month and usually more frequent, they fight about bills, payments, procedures. It causes major agitation and anxiety in my grandmother and my mother becomes short and authoritative with her. My sister and I sat down with our mother and suggested she remove the mail/bills, and paper work from our grandmother's house, not involve her in reconciling and possibly create an allowance acct that my grandmother can "manage" herself. She has done all but the allowance but still goes over the bills, payments and acct balances with my grandmother. It's too much to understand, especially the way my mother handles her books, which is just different than how my grandmother did it. Any suggestions on how we can help her let go of the control, reduce the agitation or create a "dumby" situation so that we don't continue to cause unneeded anxiety and agitation. Short of ripping it like a band-aid and totally taking everything away, which my mother does not feel will help, we are at a loss. The control need she has increases as the disease does. Thanks for any help!!