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My mother has 24/7 home care, divided between two aides. Last week, my mother felt very ill. The aide who was there (and who has been with her for around 9 months) slept in her room that night, and coped with horrific diarrhea the next morning, at which point I called 911. My mom ended up in the ER and it turned out she had a UTI that had spread into her bloodstream. She was in the ICU for 3 days and then in a regular room. This aide visited her in the hospital and will be there when my mom returns tomorrow.


I feel like she deserves some recognition for sleeping in her room, cleaning up a horrible poopy mess, and visiting my mom. Is it appropriate for me to give her a card with some money in it tomorrow? And if so, how much, $20? More? I tipped the aides generously on Christmas, but I'm not sure how to handle this. Thoughts?

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I'm so glad your mom is doing better and that you've got good support!
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So funny, Barb! Yes, good home health aides are invaluable, I have learned. In fact, this aide talked me off the ledge today due to various stressful factors involved in my mom coming home from the hospital.
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I think you're doing the right thing all around, Xina.

Funny story..
Many years ago, I had a friend whose dad had severe orthopedic issues due to cancer. I think he had dementia as well. The family qualified for home health assistance and so her mom called an agency to schedule an aide.

The family kept kosher, and friend's mom indicated this.

Agency said "we can send you trained in kosher or trained in ortho. We don't have both".

Thinking quickly, the mom said, " send me trained in ortho; I'll teach her the kosher piece and she'll never want for work in Brooklyn".

True story. Good home care people are worth their weight in platinum and if your parent is accepting of this level of care, it's a wonderful thing!
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I'm going with $40 since I only have 20s in my wallet! I am also going to tell her agency how great she is and that she should be earning the most they pay aides. I know there's a scale, depending on how experienced they are.
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Were talking nyc.
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Tipping amounts can be so subjective, to some $50 is a trifle and to others coming up with an extra $20 is a real hardship. Go with whatever feels right for your circumstances.
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You're very generous and thoughtful for wanting to personally compensate your aide for going above and beyond. I think any modest amount would be appropriate, $20 would do fine I think.
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I'm thinking 50.
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The agency is OK with it. So now the question is, how much? I don't want to overdo it. Somewhere from $20-$50 seems right. $40?
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It is a very nice gesture. Before you do that, though, check with the rules of the agency if you hired her through one. Some agencies don't allow employees to take certain types of gratuities. You wouldn't want to put the aide on the spot for doing such an excellent job. If money isn't allowed, maybe something else would be. Be sure to ask.
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