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I was present with all 5 of my siblings when both my parents passed away. They had both endured very difficult disease processes, and both had been unconscious for a number of days. My Dad had been out for 2 day's fighting Pneumania, and he woke up the morning after we had had the Priest in to administer the Last Rites, he was sitting up drinking a cuppa tea, and I told him about this and he was pleased. My Mom had spent the day alone with him, but he slipped back into unconscious again, we were all called to come quick and we were all able to get there, and with our hands on him he slipped away. It was of course very difficult but a beautiful feeling all at the same time. My Mom, died 14 months later. Again she had been unconscious in the Hospice Hospital, she woke up after being out for 5 days, my youngest brother was with her and he called us all to come and she stayed awake for the 1/2 hour it took for us all to get there to say our goodbyes, and she slipped away peacefully with all her children holding her. I feel fortunate to have been able to be with them both as they brought us into the world, and we all saw them out. I miss them dreadfully, but they are together now as they wanted, and we all remain close. Their estate was divided evenly, and even when their years tax return came, there was enough for us all totake a 5 day cruise on the money, like a thank you for taking such good care of them. I feel god about our family journey through such a painful loss, but I'm proud of every aspect of their care, as we did it together in harmony. No Regrets or hard feelings.
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My husband and I were caregivers to his mom who had a brain tumor. In the early hour of the morning I awoke suddenly feeling as though I was being embraced very tightly by my MIL. We both went to her room, changed her diaper, gave her a light body massage with lavender scented cream, turned the TV very low, onto her favourite type of music, kissed her and told her we loved her. We believe she passed no sooner had we left her room. So I don't feel there is any particular time of day, it's more of a preference of the person who is dying, they wait until it's convenient for them to do so in privacy. IMHO.
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Oh, tell me about NH's. My mother's was kicking her out, "you're too well to stay." DEAD WRONG! Less than 48 hrs. later she suffered an ischemic stroke there!
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DoingbestIcan, how very interesting you say that; my dad died at approximately 2:15 p.m., a couple of hours after my mom and I left. My sister didn't make it; she was waiting for my niece to come of work. However, I think he was ready after seeing me and mom one last time. I just hope he wasn't so disappointed.
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It seems people hang on to life for the sake of their loved ones. Often once their loved ones tell them it's "okay for them to go," they go. They'll also wait for a certain loved one to get to them from far away to say good-bye, just as others have said.
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My mother's mother was in a NH after a series of strokes and falls. She was actively dying and the NH kept insisting she'd be up the next day. I can't be angry at them..they were trying to keep her spirits up, while her spirit was trying to get away! My mother spent almost every day of 3 weeks at GG's bedside. I went there one day to spell Mother off. I held GG's hands (ice cold and gray) and said "Grandma, have you seen Granddad?" (He'd passed 32 years earlier) She said "Oh yes! And he wants me to come with him". I said. "Then next time he comes, just go with him. We're all ok. We love you." She passed away the next morning before Mother could get there. Mother was devastated, but I have reassured her for the last 20 years that her continual presence probably made it harder on GG to leave. I think she's come to terms with that.
Daddy passed away with ALL of his kids (minus the prodigal son) in the room. He was in hospice care and didn't want to die during the holidays. He passed quietly 45 minutes into New Year's Day. It was really beautiful, to see him at rest, finally, after 17 years with Parkinson's.
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Patrice2oz: Yes, oftentimes they wait for a sign for them to be able to depart to heaven.
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My mom passed at noon, my uncle in afternoon and my grandmom after dinner. Honestly, I felt they took their cues from us. When we were at peace and telling them we would be ok and a better place was waiting, they pass. My sister was not comfortable and both my mom and uncle passed when she left the room.
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It does seem like elders pass in the morning, albeit even the VERY early morning hours
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Our case as well. I slept in the bed next to moms and she slipped away the moment I walked into the kitchen for coffee, My aunt called me back into the room 30 seconds after I walked out.
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No, not really. To preface, let me say that I'm a registered nurse, and spent over 28 years working a variety of floors, but most of those years, I was on night shift. I've seen a lot of people pass away at night, but of course, I knew of all the ones who died on the other shifts as well. There was no particular time that more died than any other, near as I could see. But there was one thing I can tell you, is that many, many times folks would manage to hang on until their family finally left the bedside. Family members would be sitting at their grandmother's side for hours on end, and then finally go take a little break. And that would be the moment grandma would slip away. I can't tell you how many times I had to call people up, an tell them to turn around and come back the minute they got home. It was such a shame that the family members would feel bad, to have been gone then. But I would always remind them that there was no way they could have stayed there forever. And besides, sometime you have to let them stop the struggle, That just maybe, their leaving was what grandma needed, to make that last difficult moment just a little easier.
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