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He is still trying to live. Dad continues to take his meds. Does everything to make himself healthier. He does however voice his desire to die. We lost mom last year after 65 years of marriage. He has been pretty broken hearted. He is on an antidepressant. I just dont know if it is time to stop meds and just deal with comfort care...such as pain relief and sleep issues. He is 90. Ideas? I think I am being selfish by wanting him to stay...he has been living with us for over a year.

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Hospice usually applies to terminally or seriously ill recipients of long term care services as explained in infolongtermcare.org. To be able to become illegible, your condition must be considered incurable or fatal and your doctor should indicate that your life expectancy is less than 6 months. Hospice care is ordered by the doctor, which is usually the primary doctor. So unless your father meets the above mentioned condition, then he might not be eligible to hospice yet.

Your dad experience depression due to the loss of your mom so try to help your dad spend more time with family, friends, and other people. Convince him to socialize and have fun. Try conducting indoor activities that is suitable for your dad's physical condition so he will give less attention to things that makes him sad and depressed.
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If your dad is still able to contribute to his own healthcare he's not a candidate for hospice especially since he does everything to make himself healthier as you described. Hospice doesn't euthanize people because they're depressed or because they're old.
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He sounds depressed, but that doesn't make him a candidate for Hospice. He may be bored and should spend some time with contemporaries. Hospice is ordered by the doctor, so the conversation would start there.
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Jlttks111, My mom died 3 years ago and left my dad behind too. They were married 63 years and dad is 88 I think believe. Dad does his own thing as far as taking care of himself, plus he still drives. Us 3 kids knew that the first year was gonna be bad especially, so we all rallied around dad. We tried to keep him busy with taking him places, including him in all family things, and having our kids (his grandkids) keep him occupied too. Couldn't do anything about the night time hours though when he had to go to bed all by himself after 63 years of having a warm body next to him. The key for dad was thinking about something OTHER than himself. He has started cooking for the first time in his life. Mom always cooked for him, all he had to to was show up at the table. (ha) Then he had one of my nephews come over and they built raised planter beds in his backyard and he's growing flowers and vegetables now. Something that mom never wanted to do by the way. He's filled his need for an old lady to talk to, by getting together after church with some old widows and all eating lunch together. His life is not perfect of course, but it's certainly better than sitting in his house alone and wallowing in memories and self pity. Sounds harsh, but dad would tell ya I'm right. Keeping busy and thinking about anyone else EXCEPT yourself was the key for us.
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